Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a car air freshener on his desk, because it "keeps my farts away from his air." FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML
Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML
Today, I bought myself a new perfume. Now, there's a sulky husband lying next to me in bed who can't get it up because I smell like his mum. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML
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Top comments
SoSickWithIt 14
********, coming, pissing. The best 3 feelings in life. Try having sex with her in your bathroom? :D
buckdharma 38
Well, if you start jerking off in the shower, you won't be able to go out when it's raining.
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Comments (53)
BellaFurfaro 12
Lets just hope you don't shit yourself while having sex ;).
TheElBurrrito 21
Who knows, maybe she's into that sort of thing. And, maybe this is all an elaborate plan to fulfill her fantasy of getting shit all over her. Just a thought.
Enslaved 38
Plug it in. Plug it up?
4dycegrl 3
I dont know why u have so many negatives. that was funny.
Enslaved 38
Plug it in. Plug it up?
Sandsh8rk 36
This will be solved if you have sex with your toilet and shit and piss on your girlfriend.
dontpanic_fml 32
By OP's logic and thought process, this actually is the best solution.
klutz44 28
But then the new problem would be that OP no longer has a girlfriend.
80sgurl 15
That's just weird.
arcadekid1 9
Easy fix - YDI!
perdix 31
Glade really ought to discontinue their Blumpkin-scented air freshener.
TheElBurrrito 21
The hell with that! If that happens, I will no longer be complete.
nikhilambhorkar 24
Atleast you will be in a good mood while ********!
meso222 8
But he might start reading while having sex...
Jakespeed207 4
In the words of DBZ Abridged Piccolo: "DAMN YOU, PAVLOV!"
Steffi 26
Change your air freshener?