Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
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Top comments
holllla_fml 3
Maybe you shouldn't be a lame prissie then.
ganjaranja 10
Hahaha wonder what Granny was like when you were growing up.
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Comments (112)
angrymexican 8
Yes it does, you just have to believe in yourself!
Kara_rated 5
I wish my grandma would tell my mom that.
flockz 20
cursing guys? seriously? **** off, all of you.
xxmel 6
If she wants your children to swear, teach them how to say, "Grandma is a bitch."
smash8 4
Yeah! That will reinforce great behaviors like respect!
xxmel 6
Lol it's a joke ..
catmcross 7
don't take your kids to grandma's anymore. if she can't grow up, she can't see the kids. sorry that your mother has bad manners....
teyyoshi 19
How do i find the joke i posted?
florido_fml 10
Your life is a joke
moop256 10
Ok give the guy a break and don't be so rude.
Awsumuzzie 12
I don't know why, but 63's comment made me feel all cozy and touched me in all the right spots, really. Take it literally if it makes you feel better ;)
AdamBasebal69 0
Move the piece of dental floss blinding you.
mattclark 0
Sounds like your grandma is a baller
angrymexican 8
Only stupid ******* bitches cuss. They're dicks!
funnynesh 10
PWNED
mattclark 0
Sound like your grandma is a baller!