Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
holllla_fml 3
Maybe you shouldn't be a lame prissie then.
ganjaranja 10
Hahaha wonder what Granny was like when you were growing up.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
freakguy455 0
I tried to look up what admonished means use the urban dictionary, it said no definition found. If UD can find a definition for it, it isn't a real word..
WolfHound8650 0
its true....with congress debating whether or not to censor national television or not, i dont think youre gonna make much headway....just a heads up. you're no longer in control
FilthyPazuzu 3
I like your mom better than you, she sounds like she'd be more fun to hang out with.
chilldude69 8
Oh the words of wisdom
aleisha28 0
I believe it's called teaching them respect! I say GOOD JOB!
smylee14 0
How old is your youngest ?
angrynegro7 16
That's when you should have told your mom to go eat a dick.
peonmvc 6
Sounds like your mom's a little ****.
Haha_no_123 11
OP's mom said that if she is a prissy then her kids will be prissys too..... So was OP's mom a prissy and then OP became a prissy because her mom was one when OP was a kid?
grudger 14
Slap the taste out of her mouth, you raise you kids the way you want op, sounds like your the good mother