Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
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Top comments
holllla_fml 3
Maybe you shouldn't be a lame prissie then.
ganjaranja 10
Hahaha wonder what Granny was like when you were growing up.
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Comments (112)
mama2b3 20
lol not what I was expecting when I started this fml
5HT2A 5
You should be thankful that you're not related to Tourette's guy, then shit would really hit the fan.
lyssabean11 5
Aaaaahaha !!! Made my day x) i mean, sorry bro
TomHarrow 5
Damn, that sounds like my mom.
Ingredients 7
Comment moderated
yousirareamong 5
Admonished? Yeh you do sound like a "lame priss"
THE_A_TEEN 28
It's because she's smarter than you.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
we can all agree old people need to be this epic
iwadasn 33
What's "epic" about trying to teach her grandchildren to disrespect their mother's authority?
_Oliv3r 1
grannies know best
lolyeahthatsme 11
How about you teach her "bitch" and tell her to say only over her grandmothers house...or just teach her that freaking long word you used in the FML that im still trying to figure out what it means. :)
lolyeahthatsme 11
I figured out what it means! Actually my ipod dictionary did but who cares...
samanthajonesdru 1
Tell your mom that she is and was so badly mannered throughout your life, that you just have to compensate by being a prissy bitch. Now put her in her timeout chair for calling you a bitch in front of your kids. THAT is lame.