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  \  |  28

Let's just be glad he didn't introduce them to Ted...

  Schizomaniac  |  24

Not bad, but a small piece of advice, if I may: it isn't necessary to capitalize the pun. The second one was fine but the first one seemed like you were trying too hard. It's sort of like telling a joke and before ending saying "OKAY GUYS THIS PART IS THE PUNCHLINE GET READY FOR THE PUNCHLINE."
But what do I know? I'm just a drunkard with nothing left to live for.
*drinks self into oblivion*

  StoryOfTheYear  |  13

Once you ingest considerable amounts of Nutella your mind just starts to say "Fuck it." to most laws and rules. He literally doesn't give a shit about what you and your weaksauce "alcohol" have to say.


u should never drink yourself into oblivion.. unless you woke up late, got a speeding ticket, got broken up with ending the greatest relationship youve ever had, dog died, and someone robbed your house.

By  BreynHope  |  11

Some people are just not kid friendly (like myself) and that's okay, but don't choose a job where that's majority of clientele. Tell your coworker to get lost, OP.

  alshygirl  |  14

Omg that's a good one. I told my sister when we were swimming in a lake that when she swam through a cold spot it was because a dead person was beneath her. It still freaks her out to this day.

  aria78  |  19

I convinced my daughter marshmallows were made out of bug guts. I also convinced my teenage sisters that when your eyelashes fall out they never grow back.

  ChoolyBooly  |  32

Yeah my sisters both teamed up to convince me that the black seeds in watermelons were sleeping baby beetles and that if I ate them they would wake up and reproduce inside me......I was four....and they are older by a few years. My mom had to get watermelon without seeds for about two years before my sisters confessed.