Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying, "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML
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Top comments
Grayness_ 26
Or you could just use your hand which is free ! :D haha
grahmagog 14
give it back and tell them to buy headphones
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Comments (180)
Larry01_fml 19
good luck looking your parent in the eyes after that!
AestheticSynthia 7
I could imagine what your parents do , when they hear you at night lmao
BFons 19
Mother of god.
Neesalun 20
They should have slipped you $100 since the good ones are higher in price... Um...so I've heard... ;)
Omniprism 14
What?? Only thirty?! I would expect sixty. You never know which one you'll fall in love with. And I'm glad you have a healthy sexual relationship with yourself. Not very many women do. And don't worry about being embarrassed. Your parents sound awesome. In no time you guys will look back and laugh. Go have fun picking out a new one!
Late_night83 25
Hahaha! Lol
unixdude 9
$30 will get you a boyfriend for an hour or two.
SirMichael 13
Keep the $30 and don't ********** when your parents are home.
jonnyscash 12
Great! Just great! Now I'm horny.
asbmf 7
Why would you use it when your parents are in the house?