By Renagirl - 09/09/2013 12:46 - United States - East Hartford
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There's nothing wrong with a little consensual sex with no strings attached. That's the way I prefer it. Lots of beautiful girls out there, why tie yourself down when you're young? Some people like relationships, other enjoy their freedom. He did the right thing by telling her he wasn't looking for a relationship instead of hooking up with her and then telling her. Pretty genuine guy in my book, most wouldn't even tell girls that until they finished knocking boots.
I don't think the guy did anything wrong, in my book. He might have phrased it better, but he was being honest. I think its better to find out that he does not want a relationship than to think you are in one and have him tell her months from now. Yes, she loves him, but if he does not feel the same way he is not some sort of monster. I doubt she told him, and even if she did, he has a right to state what he wants and needs.
I wish I could like this one 100 times. I firmly believe being honest is the best approach. No misleading someone, no using someone without their consent, and no harm done because they choose to proceed or not with you based on what you really want. But yeah, he could have phrased it much better.
While I think it's great to be honest, his choice of words seem to say "Your good enough to f*ck but not good enough to date". Seems a bit harsh if your trying to get in someone's pants. No, he probably didn't know she loved him but still how many women really would go for that line...without booze involved that is.
You'd be surprised of how many girls enjoy casual sex without the promise of a relationship. Obviously you need to be a little more charming than the fella in this fml, but when you tell them your honest intentions it goes a long way. I don't straight up say "Hey, I want to bang you all night, and never want to see you again." If you treat them with respect and honesty they'll do the same to you. Personally, I enjoy making them some good ol' waffles the next day, then possibly another round of bed wrestling, but I don't just up and leave and refuse to talk to them ever again. That's childish, but that's how some men and women go about things.
It's a pity she loves him that's all. It sounds like he neither deserves or wants her love, just a booty call. So its definitely a FYL because it's always horrible when feelings aren't reciprocated like this. Perhaps she's an emotional person (like myself) who has no interest in meaningless sex and kinda needs that emotional connection too? He's just wrong for her, it's a shame. :(
How was he being arrogant at all? From what I know, arrogance is believing you're superior to the people around you. All he did was say she's super hot but say he doesn't want a relationship. Just, I think, friends with benefits. So how was he being an ass either? He doesn't love her back and isn't looking for that kind of relationship.. And he told her so.. Which is bad how? Would you rather he just dated her just to get in her pants? He did the right thing
I say you go for it. If you're really that hot, he'll fall for you eventually. Either that or someone hotter and/or less superficial will come your way and you can upgrade.
I don't think it's ever a good idea to hook up with someone to get them to fall for you. Its very unlikely to cause anything but drama and hurt feelings. This guy was honest enough to be really clear about his intentions, shallow as they may be. If OP wants a boyfriend and not a bed-buddy, she'd do better look elsewhere.
He just wants to get in your pants. Let the SOB go no matter what! Don't get stuck on one guy.