By Renagirl - 09/09/2013 12:46 - United States - East Hartford

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 351
You deserved it 5 289

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Sounds like an ass.

What a superficial dick. Don't hook up with an arrogant asswad like that.

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Sounds like an ass.

Sounds like an ass? lol. He IS an ass.

Agreed. OP, you'd do well to forget about him. Or to shove a knife up his ass. Nothing like a coarse and non-committal reply to your love.

There's nothing wrong with a little consensual sex with no strings attached. That's the way I prefer it. Lots of beautiful girls out there, why tie yourself down when you're young? Some people like relationships, other enjoy their freedom. He did the right thing by telling her he wasn't looking for a relationship instead of hooking up with her and then telling her. Pretty genuine guy in my book, most wouldn't even tell girls that until they finished knocking boots.

You are correct, 36. Relationships aren't for everyone. Some people like to have a good night and leave it at that, but he also could have been less of a douchebag about it.

Idk, it never says that op even stated her feelings for the guy. If he had no idea of her feelings for him, I don't think he handled it all that badly. He's not really an ass, but it does still suck for op...

I don't think the guy did anything wrong, in my book. He might have phrased it better, but he was being honest. I think its better to find out that he does not want a relationship than to think you are in one and have him tell her months from now. Yes, she loves him, but if he does not feel the same way he is not some sort of monster. I doubt she told him, and even if she did, he has a right to state what he wants and needs.

He could have simply said "I don't want a serious relationship right now, just a casual one." and left it at that. It's a little more respectful toward her without sounding like a douchebag.

I wish I could like this one 100 times. I firmly believe being honest is the best approach. No misleading someone, no using someone without their consent, and no harm done because they choose to proceed or not with you based on what you really want. But yeah, he could have phrased it much better.

That escalated quickly, #29...

While I think it's great to be honest, his choice of words seem to say "Your good enough to f*ck but not good enough to date". Seems a bit harsh if your trying to get in someone's pants. No, he probably didn't know she loved him but still how many women really would go for that line...without booze involved that is.

82 he didn't say that at all. He just said he didn't want to be in a relationship. You guys are blowing it out of proportion. I say he did a good thing by bein honest from the start instead of a sleazy dick trying to get in her pants by lying

You'd be surprised of how many girls enjoy casual sex without the promise of a relationship. Obviously you need to be a little more charming than the fella in this fml, but when you tell them your honest intentions it goes a long way. I don't straight up say "Hey, I want to bang you all night, and never want to see you again." If you treat them with respect and honesty they'll do the same to you. Personally, I enjoy making them some good ol' waffles the next day, then possibly another round of bed wrestling, but I don't just up and leave and refuse to talk to them ever again. That's childish, but that's how some men and women go about things.

@83: No he did not say that which is way I used "seem to say". That is the way I read the fml, as a women, with the info provided, and no emotional attachment to the guy. @85: Yes, perfect comment. It's all about the finesse.

Tell him you aren't that type of girl.

It's a pity she loves him that's all. It sounds like he neither deserves or wants her love, just a booty call. So its definitely a FYL because it's always horrible when feelings aren't reciprocated like this. Perhaps she's an emotional person (like myself) who has no interest in meaningless sex and kinda needs that emotional connection too? He's just wrong for her, it's a shame. :(

You deserve so much better than him sweetie /:

For real. She shouldn't be hooking up with him anymore, or anything else.

Curse your super hottness OP!!!! But seriously... You need someone who will appreciate how 'super hot' you are but also respect you enough to want something more than that.

What a superficial dick. Don't hook up with an arrogant asswad like that.

How was he being arrogant at all? From what I know, arrogance is believing you're superior to the people around you. All he did was say she's super hot but say he doesn't want a relationship. Just, I think, friends with benefits. So how was he being an ass either? He doesn't love her back and isn't looking for that kind of relationship.. And he told her so.. Which is bad how? Would you rather he just dated her just to get in her pants? He did the right thing

The way he said it was pretty shitty, that's the point. I agree with the honesty, but you can't expect girls to take that absolute brutal honesty.. Jesus. Girls tend to be a little bit more sensitive then guys.

I hope you find someone better who is worth your love OP

Gaaah sorry didn't mean to put thumbs down!

Wow. Well at least you didn't end up preggo. That would've been way worse :/ . But now at least you know better and hopefully have started to move on.

Answer "no," it is not dating. Fuck that guy. Or don't. Huh.

I say you go for it. If you're really that hot, he'll fall for you eventually. Either that or someone hotter and/or less superficial will come your way and you can upgrade.

what if he starts cheating cause technically they're not in a relationship. don't do it! not a good thing he won't treat you with respect

well then technically its not cheating. its up to ops discretion is she can handle risking a broken heart or not. I wouldn't do it.

How DARE you plebeians thumb down Doc. Back, you vile, humorless scum!

I don't think it's ever a good idea to hook up with someone to get them to fall for you. Its very unlikely to cause anything but drama and hurt feelings. This guy was honest enough to be really clear about his intentions, shallow as they may be. If OP wants a boyfriend and not a bed-buddy, she'd do better look elsewhere.

A bit of advice to everyone taking me seriously: Don't.

Does this advice extend to all your patients and/or co-workers?

Wait isn't that what every relationship is anyway? Just a jump off point for something better?

Dane Cook likes to call that a relationshit. But seriously, forget him, move on. He's as shallow as a kiddie pool.

He just wants to get in your pants. Let the SOB go no matter what! Don't get stuck on one guy.

Coulda been worse. He could have not been an honest guy and lied to her just to get laid. What's wrong with wanting a fuckbuddy btw? Not wanting a serious relationship doesn't make him shallow.

I don't think that this guy has ever been in a real relationship if he has to asks if just hooking up with someone is dating. Find someone else who actually wants to be with you for more than just hooking up.