By Anonymous - 29/6/2021 00:01

City boy

Today, my boyfriend realised that I’m from the part of Louisiana where we hunt gators for food, and dumped me because he doesn’t want to be a city boy who ends up fathering redneck kids, and having to sail through swamps to visit the in-laws. FML

I agree, your life sucks

911

You deserved it

144

Tweet

Share

Late term

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Stop talking!

By Jonnyboo - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52463

You deserved it

2779

Tweet

Share

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14226

You deserved it

1020

Tweet

Share

By incels - 7/6/2021 02:01

Gamers gonna gamer

Today, I put up my profile pic in Call of Duty: Mobile for the first time and got more than 50 friend requests and some very offensive messages from creepy guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

806

You deserved it

191

Tweet

Share

By PubelishedAuthor - United States

Pubeblocked

Today, I learned that a few pubes on your bed can stop you from getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8712

You deserved it

33114

Tweet

Share

By amberrenee91 - United States - Ellwood City

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36487

You deserved it

17775

Tweet

Share

By gp28 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23852

You deserved it

3990

Tweet

Share

By Cindy - United States

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

143693

You deserved it

7292

Tweet

Share

By biwhat - Australia - Bassendean

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

I agree, your life sucks

47784

You deserved it

13987

Tweet

Share

By okaythen - United States - Arcata

Today, I got written up by HR after my new coworker told them I had an ignorant, offensive caricature of Native American people decorating my desk. It was a framed photograph of an actual Native American tribe that belonged to my history buff grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22238

You deserved it

1525

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34735

You deserved it

5511

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Abandoned

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out, "Hello" had turned into a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27578

You deserved it

2328

Tweet

Share

By jamalinho - Bangladesh

Today, I worked 12 long hours cooped up in my office. Before leaving, my boss asked me whether I'll ever take my job seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35668

You deserved it

3393

Tweet

Share

By tomandjerry - United States

Grades go both ways

Today, I was scolding my 8 year-old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight "A"s like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair. When I asked why, he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

I agree, your life sucks

19893

You deserved it

66391

Tweet

Share

By Spooderman - United States

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25739

You deserved it

2451

Tweet

Share

By BenFiggy - United States - Brick

Today, while waiting in line with my 4-year-old son, I had to awkwardly apologize to an African-American gentleman and explain to my son that the man was not made out of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21662

You deserved it

2609

Tweet

Share

By DMitch - United States

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42777

You deserved it

14416

Tweet

Share

By Sarah

Today, I had the mole on my neck removed. By my pet bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1616

You deserved it

168

Tweet

Share

By both are dimwitted - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42388

You deserved it

4634

Tweet

Share

By miss tomato - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24431

You deserved it

5644

Tweet

Share

By lesler - 20/7/2021 06:01 - Canada

I'm looking through you

Today, my bartender noticed my new haircut before my live-in boyfriend did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

792

You deserved it

163

Tweet

Share

By Tights2Tight - United States

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27304

You deserved it

3260

Tweet

Share

By NicoleNoone - 1/8/2020 05:01

Banished

Today, my older sister told me about their table plan at their wedding. She is one of my best friends too, so I was shocked that I had been placed far away, and separated from my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1542

You deserved it

129

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Priorities

Today my husband cried tears of joy because we now have dates for : 1 - When our son can go back to school, and 2 - When the pubs will reopen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1157

You deserved it

292

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30440

You deserved it

1738

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/12/2020 19:58 - Germany

The new economy

Today, I have so little faith in my future earning potential that I keep my clipped toe and fingernails as a nest egg. I heard that some weirdos on the internet actually pay money for those. FML

I agree, your life sucks

633

You deserved it

843

Tweet

Share

By Roselyn Cazares

Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4100

You deserved it

1871

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48130

You deserved it

6113

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend, with whom I have been in love for years, kissed me, hugged me, held my hand, hooked up with me and told me that he loved me more than anything and wanted to be with me... until he sobered up and his girlfriend got back to town. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39523

You deserved it

8162

Tweet

Share

By boobswerehere - United States - Reno

Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five-year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

12548

You deserved it

1443

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - Germany

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

I agree, your life sucks

54534

You deserved it

3618

Tweet

Share

By maxiflouf - France

Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23743

You deserved it

2910

Tweet

Share

By InnocenceBlue - Australia - Perth

Today, after I've been nauseous for a week straight, barely eating or sleeping, I was going to see my doctor. She then called in sick and I can't get an appointment for another week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1571

You deserved it

103

Tweet

Share

By frogface_fml

Family ain't all it's cracked up to be

Today, I talked to my birth mother for the first time in over 26 years. Five minutes into our conversation, I remembered why I stayed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1463

You deserved it

187

Tweet

Share

By sigsigsignify

Today, my 3 year old future niece was combing my hair while I was watching a movie with the future in-laws. She kept leaving saying she was going to "go get the comb wet". I assumed she meant in the bathroom sink. Turns out she was just going around behind the couch and licking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2372

You deserved it

382

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/1/2021 17:01 - Germany

Catflap time

Today, our cat doesn’t care much whether she gets into my room or not. Except at about 3 a.m. each night. That’s the time she sits outside the door, meowing to be let in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

627

You deserved it

125

Tweet

Share

By dammit_ - Canada

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked, "What's up lovebirds?" Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43057

You deserved it

10208

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Norfolk

Today, I was laid off from my job as a manager. After cleaning out my office, I began clearing my computer. I received an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too bad it was for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47193

You deserved it

3769

Tweet

Share

By Undefined - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

23268

You deserved it

8552

Tweet

Share

By wow - United States

Industrial logs

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19457

You deserved it

36793

Tweet

Share

By WhatTheBleep - United States

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47342

You deserved it

3522

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By voltroz | 18

#8004584 - Tuesday 29 June 2021 0:26

Glad you doged a bullet

By Bogrbon | 24

#8004595 - Tuesday 29 June 2021 1:54

I've had fried gator once as a city boy, and it was tasty. And I can say for certain, having to navigate the swamps and bayous to see my in-laws would be a major improvement. Either way, you seem more reasonable and civilized than he does. =)

COMMENTS

By voltroz | 18

#8004584 - Tuesday 29 June 2021 0:26

Glad you doged a bullet

By ahabsfan | 14

#8004594 - Tuesday 29 June 2021 1:36

You wore crocs didn’t you?

By Bogrbon | 24

#8004595 - Tuesday 29 June 2021 1:54

I've had fried gator once as a city boy, and it was tasty. And I can say for certain, having to navigate the swamps and bayous to see my in-laws would be a major improvement. Either way, you seem more reasonable and civilized than he does. =)

Reply

Yudith | 20

#8005207 - Thursday 1 July 2021 3:38

I had crocodile in a restaurant once, and it tasted like fish on steroids. I want to know your recipe so I can give them.

By Brightside86 | 25

#8004624 - Tuesday 29 June 2021 5:38

This actually sounds like fun, I'd sail through a swamp. If that's the worst thing about the inlaws I'd call that a win.

By Jerome C. Boyd | 5

#8004637 - Tuesday 29 June 2021 7:21

Girl you need to dm me. Gators and swamp omg

By spinspinsugar | 12

#8004814 - Tuesday 29 June 2021 20:12

I'm a city kid myself so I get it. still lame of him to dump you like that, though.

By randybryant799 | 10

#8004837 - Tuesday 29 June 2021 21:32

You are way better off without him. He sounds like an ass.

By Hippiechick | 5

#8004993 - Wednesday 30 June 2021 14:24

Maybe he doesn’t like the idea of killing a dope ass animal