Today, my 6 year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop "pretending to be daddy" against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
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Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that it’s been 2 hours and my daughter won’t stop bawling, or the fact that my husband threw the biggest fit, because I “had to come home too early.” FML
Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3 year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML
Today, I told my five year-old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML
Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML
Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
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Top comments
EmbalmingTheatre 0
O my god, **** your life indeed, how are you going to explain that to your guests. It's kind of funny, though *giggles*
24788 6
What the ****? **** your life? What about your childs life who had to witness that. She's probably to young to realize what it really was, but man I'd have to cut out my eyes if that happened to me.
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Comments (205)
Karnezar 2
Because no one else has asked, what position were you doing?
TheSerb88 0
#85 I think its pretty obvious if she's running around thrusting upon the various pieces of furniture.
ChampagneAngel87 0
OP: It's just something you should explain to her. Encourage her to knock. Remember to lock the door. #18 don't let the others bother you about your correction. We are in an age where things like recreational reading and proper grammar usage aren't important to much of society.
Newtons_Cradle 0
hahaha 21!!! But do talk to your daughter. She won't understand what she saw now, but she might remember it later. A similar thing happened to me when I was really little, and during my awkward beginning-of-puberty years the memory came back and freaked me out a little. I wasn't traumatized or anything dramatic, but it was just one more thing bothering my hormonally unbalanced mind. I'd say be open and use your parenting instincts.
Adrianna69 0
lol Thats pretty funny. But thats what kids do! They copy EVERYTHING they see lmao
Newo_fml 0
HAHAH! THANK YOU for the laugh!!
mandalauren 0
**** your life? more like **** her life, when she realizes what it was that you were doing when she gets older and wonders why her idiot parents were doing it at an hour while she was awake, yet alone in the house in a room without a locked door. was she taking a nap? or was she just unsupervised while you two decided to ****? now you get the joy of explaining things to her, when it could of been avoided in the first place.
silvermoonstar3 3
Yay, #18! I was thinking the same thing. OP, as others have said, don't tell her it's wrong, just teach her not to do it in public. It might also be a good idea to invest in a lock. And to the one who asked how it can be YDI: It can be YDI because they could have prevented it (and still had sex). I clicked both.
Monstarred 7
Lmao, but seriously that was extremely stupid of you, YDI. Now shes going to be a screwed up teen, congrats!
alibee 0
There is no way to get out of this except to have "the talk" with her. It's better if she understands.