I'm so hot and lonely

By lonely dreams - 01/01/2013 17:26 - United States - Reno

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 388
You deserved it 6 792

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Top comments

Forever alone.

Well your hand will never let you down or cheat on you. It will always be by your side.


Forever alone.

Not true! He can still have sex with dream people! Shit scratch that.

Don't forget the dream condom

oj101 33

His hand must be called Jill. *** If you don't get it- Google Image "forever alone Jill" ***

forever available

Study lucid dreaming, its perty cool

What's worse is when you're married and haven't been intimate in so long you dream of just getting a boner...

KeannaLove 32

I'm sorry you deserve it. Go out and meet people! There's plenty of places to do that. If that fails, hire a hooker.

Hiring a hooker really shouldn't be suggested even as a second option, that could be very dangerous

Yes. Go get a hooker. Contract AIDs, chlamydia. It's so worth it! He totally deserves this, because failing to meet people just to **** is just worthy of complete and utter shame. I agree wholeheartedly with this comment.

It must be hard to understand a single man if you are a girl that men approach every week.

Naw he's just needs to stay home and jack off, its the best way to find someone!

2, you aren't the brightest crayon in the box.

bugmenotmofo 34

12: The dude is seriously lonely and you think that because of this he should be punished by contracting veneral disease. For a woman you're quite heartless, aren't you? think you're the one who should be ashamed. Since nobody have told you before, education time. Some men have VERY strong sexual drive. It means that at the age of 18..30 they might want to do it up to 4..6 times per day, every day (and have enough stamina for that too). With the people with JUST the right personality(introverted, not really social, shy, conscious about his looks, etc), that's a big problem. That's not necessarily "animal desire to screw anything that moves", the dude might want consensual sex with pretty partner that likes him and possibly can provide emotional support. So it is both physiological and psychological. That's not that different from desire to hug somebody or simply "to spoon". If you're a man, You can't deal with that. You can't get rid of that. If you won't deal with it somehow, you'll become utterly miserable, up to being depressed and suicidal or going teary upon seeing kissing couple. Maybe you'll snap and kill yourself. Masturbation won't help either. Now, in order to properly deal with situation, society requires you to spend enormous amount of time finding a date, establishing relationship, and possibly marrying. While successfully completing might grant you lifetime partner (with a large chance of divorse, emotional trauma), the whole ordeal takes a lot of time, and doesn't help you with the problem you have right now. You're lonely NOW, you feel bad NOW, but there's nobody to help you. NOt to mention that with just the right combination of personality traits (interovert/shy), finding yourself a girlfriend or a "sex friend" might take years. So OF COURSE, if your local law allows sex services and your moral values don't forbid using them, it'll be a better idea to use sex service if you can't take it anymore. At least this way you won't go insane tomorrow, and maybe will be able to pull your mind together and start finding yourself a proper partner.

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Holy shit, she was being sarcastic.

meekthekit 6

Ain't nobody got time fo reading that!

KeannaLove 32

Um 45 I was joking about the hooker thing.. But thank you for taking it to that next awkward level.

DKjazz 20

45- I'm sure you're getting thumbed down by the tl;dr crowd. I thought your little article was insightful, justified, and well worth the read.

45 - Jeez Louise! Wow, a bit of an overreaction over here, I'm pretty sure that 12 was being sarcastic. If you can't see that, you really don't need to be on the internet, go take a class in having a sense of humor! I also think that the whole "For a woman you sure can be quite heartless." comment was rather unnecessary and came across as quite a bit sexist.

bugmenotmofo 34

49, in text communication sarcasm *cannot* be properly detected by MOST people due to complete lack of body language, voice and facial cues. Most means that in roughly 70% cases your text may be misunderstood. To avoid confusion, use "<sarcasm></sarcasm>" or something similar.

N3766 20

#55 Why would you pointing out your sarcasm by saying it is sarcasm?

Despite being obnoxiously long, especially on my phone, I found your...essay... very well-thought out and informative. Kudos!

WhoSaidDat 10

So what's chlamydia...and 45 I hope you're just messing with us...

100% correct right here

Heard the same story plenty of times on here already

beddington 7

Maybe your just overly narcissistic... with a hand fetish.

Well your hand will never let you down or cheat on you. It will always be by your side.

unless he has a horrible accident, and it gets cut off...

Unless of course he cheats with his other hand..

I dunno, ICastillo, I once woke up to see my right hand doing innapropriate things to my cushion, and ever since, I've had my eye on that sneaky bastard. Copping a feel while I ain't looking? Not on my watch! Oh wait. I thought I knew him like the back of my left hand... But it just feels like he's giving me the finger.

Uh oh Pleonasm you better watch out with that hand. It might take a life of its own like in Idle Hands and try and strangle you...

He already choked my chicken, now he's going after my neck?! I gotta hand it to the little guy, he's got me under his thumb now.

klovemachine 24

Rosie Palmer can be a bitch :D

N3766 20

Unless it can give anyone a hand job.

icanfititin 0

Maybe you'd have less wet dreams if you spent more time jacking off while fantasizing about jacking off instead.

A lot better than fantasizing about your ex or whatnot.

LuckBeNimble 19

depends. for whatever reason they are your ex, you were attracted to/cared about them at some point; and fantasizing about someone you shared an intimate connection with seems far better than a dream stroking your ego. (;

No. dreaming about your x gfs is much, much better. Just because you couldn't get along with them doesn't mean they were not hot or the sex wasn't awsome.

bugmenotmofo 34

You know, I'm failrly certain that some people see nightmares about their exes.

I have nightmares (and PTSD) because of my ex, but then again most people's exes aren't sexually abusive, sadistic, violent creeps. Though I know for sure I'm not alone. If I had an erotic dream about him I would probably wake up vomiting. =/ Thankfully I have a therapy dog who senses when I have nightmares and wakes me up, a good therapist, and a very wonderful, caring partner now.

olpally 32

This is a really depressing fml... Ouch. Get out of the house more and socialize.

He likes himself so damn much he fantasizes over himself jacking off.

zombieslayer83 19

Get out there and meet some people! You don't have to go out just looking for it. Just let it happen if it does.