Intimacy and Sex: Inactive - FML

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Spicy

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 163

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Same thing different taste

Unfulfilled

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Spicy

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 155

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Spicy

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 708

You deserved it 9 335

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 719

You deserved it 4 273

Leave Me Alone

By gordogs 25 - 04/04/2012 10:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 129

You deserved it 13 043

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 560

Who the ****?

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 02:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 901

You deserved it 5 935

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Spicy

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 711

You deserved it 3 993

Blackmail material

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 18:00

Spicy

Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 158

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 280

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Spicy

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 132

You deserved it 9 045

Next

Top comments

Warp1978 15

Saturday 6 March 2021 23:23

Try and take your wife, partner or whatever out on a date or some other romantic gesture. Go slow and work your way out of your rut

neonpachyderm 13

Saturday 6 March 2021 23:39

Dude...i heard that. :(

Comments

Warp1978 15

Saturday 6 March 2021 23:23

Try and take your wife, partner or whatever out on a date or some other romantic gesture. Go slow and work your way out of your rut

neonpachyderm 13

Saturday 6 March 2021 23:39

Dude...i heard that. :(

alex_jaguara 32

Sunday 7 March 2021 0:10

The international day of ladies is just around the corner, 8th of march. Get her a flower or a present. Do the laundry or wash the dishes. Make yourself noticed.

LeahMichelle 6

Saturday 20 March 2021 9:30

Kink it up a bit! She might feel the same!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 3 406

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

The Top

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 842

You deserved it 2 786

Today, I got a harsh warning from my boss. I apologized because I was genuinely in the wrong. My girlfriend found out about it and sent my boss a message, threatening to kick her ass. I'm now suspended. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 164

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 3 089

Today, I have to make a hard decision on whether I should move on and free my boyfriend from me and let him do his own thing while I do my own, or resolve our differences. Advice needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 353

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 788

You deserved it 10 011

Today, I got home from work to the news my daughter and stepson are dating, and having sex, which is weird but not illegal, since they’re not related. My wife however is blaming me, because I apparently didn’t let her discipline them harshly enough when they were teenagers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 308