Bullseye!

The same reason why people don't check if their muzzle is clear by looking in it.

Pro tip: it’s a lot easier if you pump the breast milk, put it in a bottle and then use that to squirt it in your own eye. You’re welcome in advance!

When I had my first child, I was amazed by how many different directions the milk would squirt. And it's also amazing how sticky it is, which is probably why it burned. Should come with a warning: "Not intended for intra-ocular use. "

Protip: Your baby will more than likely scratch their sensitive face with their razor nails. Put breastmilk on it and it will heal faster.

Glad I'm not a woman

Someone, somewhere, has discovered that this is their fetish.

They must be perky.! Safety goggles next time.