Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, even my wet dreams are about doing it solo. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML
Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML
Today, I cried while masturbating because I genuinely couldn't think of a single person that would fuck me in real life. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I had a very nice, long, and pleasant dream about having a girlfriend for the first time since 2010, and then I woke up. I'm right about myself, I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, and there's no point in trying to change that. FML
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
Forever alone.
ICastillo 24
Well your hand will never let you down or cheat on you. It will always be by your side.
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Comments (85)
gracehi 31
Next thing you know, you'll be dreaming about dreaming about jacking off, and then Leonardo DiCaprio will steal your thoughts.
lostcrazydiamond 10
If he's gay, that won't be a problem.
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Why the hell would he want to use inception on that guys jerk off thoughts ... I didn't know he swung that way
RoboCunnilingus 23
Now in these dreams, do you ask yourself if you like it? Because that would disturb your dream mates.
aj94w 4
I'm not sure if this is really sad or really narcissistic. You don't really have to have sex to dream about sex. Sounds like you just like the notion of you jerking yourself.
shyeahh_fml 19
No, he dreams about jacking off because that's the closest thing to sex he's had in a while.
showmeyourears 19
Honestly, I don't think this really means anything. I have a boyfriend and I occasionally have dreams about masturbating.
lmngrl889 14
I agree. I had one last night! and I do have a bf too
lmngrl889 14
I also have had them more than once
Pleonasm 35
We're referencing a previous fml...
Obey_StudBoii 23
You need to get out more. Make a New Years Resolution to get out, party and have fun.
MyCommentsSuck 21
Why dream about something you can already do...whenever you want?
perdix 29
Invest in some good lotion and learn some hot dirty talk* to make your masturbatory experiences pleasurable enough to have on purpose. *For a great example of hot dirty talk, see my comment on the flatmate story. Stop before the slapping and punching begins.
poccocurantes 7
"Oh ice cream bar, you are the only one who understands me. You like the same things I do. Dog breath, boiled football leather."