anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
I'm coming!
Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Travis
🌶️ Spicy
Power moves
Today, my wife told me that I take her breath away. However, she was talking about my large stomach hitting her while we have sex and knocking the wind out of her with every thrust. FML
cj123
United States
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
katie
🌶️ Spicy
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
lovely
Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
shopper242
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
easyontheeyes1
🌶️ Spicy
Romantic afterglow
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML
Anonymous
Ellicott City, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
nick
Highland Park, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Anonymous
London, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Nice outing
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
laury
Port Elgin, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML
Top comments
babybubz 0
sooooo.. because fish breathe under water.. I'm gonna assume when you 'finish' you flap around all over the place? yeah you might wanna work on that..
wtgjeremy 0
tell her she smells like one
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Comments (97)
Waron 0
did anyone complain about it before.If so just work out daily and drink 8 cups of water each day.I hope my info helps.
xHabsfanx 0
Did you have trouble "finding Nemo"?
purplemnm 9
horrible horrible pun... maple leafs friggin rock though
babybubz 0
no they don't >_>
Boddmon 0
As a Torontonian I can proudly agree that the Leafs suck.
xHabsfanx 0
The maple leafs friggin rock? seriously? o.O
purplemnm 9
yea that was a joke too, thank god you understood ****** PENGUINS ALL THE WAY BOIIIIII
averageirishman 0
penguins seriously, well better than leafs anyways HABS FTW
spiderman0606 0
If you're a Torontonian then you should know the Leafs were bomb prior 2004. A few good trades and hopefully this season we'll be back on top. It sucks when people dont have pride for their own teams. GO LEAFS GO.
xHabsfanx 0
Well I guess I'm not a good and loyal torontonian :( Go Habs!!!
Boddmon 0
Because every Torontonian watches Hockey? I could care less for it.
xHabsfanx 0
I'm not saying that at all. I was simply replying to the comment 65 made. People assume that since you live in Toronto, you have to cheer for the home team, even if they suck ass. Good for you for not caring about hockey, I'll take that over a Leafs fan any day. Go Habs ;)
spiderman0606 0
Wait, you're telling me you're cheering for the HABS even though they're doing marginally better than the Leafs? If you really want to cheer for "the best team" because "you [don't] have to cheer... if they suck ass" the Senators are doing the best in the Northeast. Then the Sabres. Then the Bruins. Then your precious Canadiens. So your reasoning is flawed. Why are you cheering for the HABS then? Every team will have their good and bad seasons so yeah, I'll stick with my patriotism. I'll be able to show the most pride when the Leafs pick up their game. So shuun the nonbeliever, Charlieee. Shuuuuuuuuuuuuun.
Boddmon 0
Habsfan, I was replying to spiderman. Thanks for your support though!!
xHabsfanx 0
Lol Spiderman0606, when exactly did I say that I was cheering for the best team? As a realistic Habs fan, I know that we are not getting anywhere near the Stanley cup this year, but at least we are able to make it past the regular season. I still love my precious Canadiens, and my support for them has nothing to do with their performance. I have my personal reasons for cheering for them. I do agree that "every team will have their good and bad seasons", but when your team hasn't made the playoffs for a couple of years in a row (four to be exact), that's different. Lol I look forward to seeing that pride in 10 years or so, because that's when your lousy leafs will pick up their game.
spiderman0606 0
:O Blasphemy!!!
purplemnm 9
I print the faces off the Habs on my toilet paper to wipe my ass with coz they'll ever be good for
xHabsfanx 0
Oh really?!! that's very interesting, because that's exactly what I do with Crosby's face. :)
purplemnm 9
you should do it to Letangs face though coz everyone knows he's a flaming **** with a poop fetish
stinkytruck 0
try jerking off in front of the mirror you fish face
maskedman 9
tell her what "finish" face looks like, so you guys will be even.
perdix 29
You're OK just as long as she didn't end that thought with "just like my dad." "****** face" is supposed to look ridiculous! Look up Rob Schneider's "****** Guy" on SNL or refer to any douchebag playing a guitar solo.
balzacthegreat 0
O face!
mfmylifesrsly 29
hey, OP is from Montana, I know like no one from there lol..(random) and I LOL'd when I read this!
phill119 2
LMFAO!
serendipitycue 0
Tell her thanks. That's nothing in comparison to what she looks like the whole way through :)
PandasRtheShit 0
What exactly does said "fish face" look like?
Boddmon 0
Like the face of a fish.