Work: Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to...

By synn - 24/02/2010 05:19 - Singapore

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 498

You deserved it 3 081

Work

You tried

Triage

Walk the line

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 574

You deserved it 16 811

By ouch - 19/12/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 291

You deserved it 3 784

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 104

You deserved it 3 215

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 236

You deserved it 9 808

A heads up next time maybe?

By Bob - 07/04/2020 02:00

Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 033

You deserved it 841

'Cause I'm a Criminal

By Anonymous - 05/03/2017 14:00

Today, I woke up to find both of my bank accounts frozen. My bank informed me that the IRS had ordered a freeze on my assets because of back taxes owed, and would not unfreeze them until the money is paid. The amount? $2.47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 879

You deserved it 851

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend just told me the picture of "him as a baby" was really his son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 106

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 01:29 - United States

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 664

You deserved it 4 066

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 02:16 - United States - Dayton

Today, I found my daughter sobbing and trying to stick a wad of gauze to her vagina. She was having her first period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 260

You deserved it 11 295

By Anonymous - 24/08/2015 21:28 - Italy - Genova

Today, I got stuck in the elevator at work. When I was finally let out, my boss decided I shouldn't get a lunch break, because I'd already had over an hour off work while in the elevator. I had to starve through 5 more hours of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 702

You deserved it 1 769

Treat yourself

By dll - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressed out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 9 096

By Anonymous - 11/02/2011 18:15 - United States

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 801

You deserved it 3 814

Fuck those dudes

By Tia - 27/10/2021 17:00

Today, my Tinder date said it wasn’t gonna work, all because, I “need to lose some extra pounds.” Last week, I'd had another Tinder date and he told me he’d continue seeing me if I dropped at least 30 pounds. I think I get the hint now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 332

Late reaction

By "chris_lillo" - 31/01/2020 18:00 - United States - Waco

Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 752

You deserved it 196

By 8sq - 11/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 16 329

By dmvfail - 15/09/2011 00:13 - United States

Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 2 949

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 023

You deserved it 247

By Anonymous - 05/12/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 074

You deserved it 12 402

UTI

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 07:01 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 918

By ricard0 - 27/02/2014 20:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 011

You deserved it 6 124

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 19:03 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 252

You deserved it 4 466

By jack the ripped - 30/04/2016 04:38 - United States

Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 057

You deserved it 1 453

By TheBaconater - 03/02/2013 16:22 - United States - Baraboo

Today, I woke up to a voice-mail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 598

You deserved it 2 225

Yeet him into Bass Pro Shops

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend made me feel like shit because I didn’t feel like going fishing, and compared me to his "fake" friends, even though every day for the past two months, I’ve gone every time he’s asked. But anytime I suggest we do something different, he shuts it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 121

By back to creepers - 21/12/2013 20:05 - United Kingdom - Worcester

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 468

You deserved it 6 490

Feeling let down

By Ryan - 27/06/2021 02:01

Today, after my fourth flat tire, I realized that I've had more flat tires in the last 2 years than months in relationships throughout my entire life. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 119

By unluckiestperson - 29/08/2010 15:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 686

You deserved it 6 244

No fun

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 20:01

Today, I was finishing a cigarette outside of the mall when we heard someone fart. Turns out it was a little girl. They looked around, so jokingly I said, "We didn't hear anything." Her family giggled and so did we, until everyone realized the little girl was now sobbing. I'm a POS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 163

Be better, people

By Unwelcome - 29/11/2020 11:02

Today, I went to my fiancé’s family’s house for dinner. They put pork and/or alcohol in EVERY. SINGLE. DISH. Including putting bacon grease in the desserts. They know I’m Muslim and his mom insisted I was being rude for only drinking water. We ended up leaving with me in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 341

By SocietyToday - 27/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was grocery shopping with my older sister. An elderly couple passed, and the man pointed to my sister, saying, "She LOVES to eat." My sister is 7 months pregnant, and I had to spend the next hour comforting her as she bawled her eyes out because of an off-hand comment from a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 019

You deserved it 283

By hahahah111 - 25/05/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver decided to spit into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 675

You deserved it 4 249

By Anonymous - 02/08/2015 05:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 624

You deserved it 3 483

By robbed - 03/09/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 179

You deserved it 24 305

By bookbroke - 26/04/2016 04:27 - Canada - Regina

Today, I found out that someone found my lost library card, and instead of returning it, took out multiple items. If they don't return them, I'm on the hook to paying over $100 for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 970

You deserved it 1 382

Monster Mash

By John - 30/10/2021 05:00

Today, I realized I'm a failure as a man. It's been 17 years since a woman even touched me. I grew up fatherless, have completely lost hope for any chance of a wife or kids. I'm 35 and never been in a relationship. I'm a complete failure because of all this, and have become a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 321

By Alyssa - 31/03/2012 18:53 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 440

You deserved it 2 481

By sexyredhead - 14/02/2012 18:14 - United States

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 103

You deserved it 3 444

By Anonymous - 01/02/2013 23:31 - Brazil

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 360

You deserved it 4 630

By Rawr - 01/08/2010 10:38 - Switzerland

Today, my grandmother told me she would pay for me to get a nose job. I never thought there was a problem with my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 571

You deserved it 2 875

By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 244

You deserved it 4 005

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Top comments

kitzukitten715 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:36

you could always write it off on your resume as volunteer work if you didn't get the job. other future employers will eat that sh*t up.

kerrygirl 13

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 13:02

that is a screening tool for recruitment and selection...... realistic job previews. You do the job for the day and management and staff choose the person they think they would work the best with

georgiiiiia 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:18

someones a sucker...

JustStopSucking 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 13:53

at least OP didn't get executed for spitting on the side walk. I read about that in an AOL email, so it's true right? yes?

hapylordofdeath9 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 15:13

it simply sounds like they wanted to test out your skills, unpaid tests or training like that is pretty common

relyo 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 16:34

But then you laughed and told them to FOAD right? Right?!?

294372p 0

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Thursday 25 February 2010 5:36

you dont get executed, u just get fucked over big time

wthcharles 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:19

pushover...

vishal_1305 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:20

Well if i were you i would have checked first to see if they pay and anyway, how much were they going to pay you? 50USD? That's not that much, and if they were impressed by your work then you might have got the job. Did you get the job?

thecool444 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:22

Well, did you do it?

heyred 11

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:24

Actually, job shadow days are becoming more common. But legally, you are not allowed to perform any work. YDI.

karrdesw 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 13:10

Human rights don't exist in Singapore

UrNotFunny 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 13:30

yes they do.

alfigel 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 13:34

True, true.

silentfog 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 13:53

you're an idiot

euroautolover 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:28

that's the cost for attaining a job. you need to show initiative and care. ydi. stop bitching and work for one lousy day without pay.

vincespektor 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:48

euroautolover fuck you dickweed. you're a dumb shit. fuck that OP there's no need to do the work without pay, what's the point.

glen12 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:55

calm down bud a day spent occupied is better than a day spent on the couch

lettertjes 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:32

That sucks. But hopefully you got the job to reward you for your work!

kitzukitten715 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:36

you could always write it off on your resume as volunteer work if you didn't get the job. other future employers will eat that sh*t up.

kerrygirl 13

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 13:02

that is a screening tool for recruitment and selection...... realistic job previews. You do the job for the day and management and staff choose the person they think they would work the best with