Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
sweet of you to try something new to please your boyfriend, though.
Wizardo 33
Maybe you should try one of those low, deep throaty hums, that should do the job properly and blow his brains away...
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Comments (106)
Jst4kicks 16
hey, you tried.
skulskinator 5
Wait one question how old are you two?0.o
skulskinator 5
Hey I'm just saying the only people I know with the music playing toothbrushes are like 10
Martinez0285 28
if he has a singing toothbrush ... he's not old enough to blow bro
SkyBlueCloud 21
Don't try anything you read in a magazine
buckdharma 37
Humm humm humm humm the cobbler's bench Humm humm humm the weasel Humm humm humm twas all in fun Pop goes the weasel
Ray_of_midnight 22
I see two people have mentioned Cosmo already. Let me tell you: Cosmo has the dumbest "sex tips" in the known Universe. You could get better sex tips from a room full of 30 year old virgins. At least one or two of them might have read a book or something.
cheer21moose 13
He has a singing toothbrush?
whatismissing 8
Doesn't everybody has that nowadays?
How_you_doin 10
I should know better than to be reading FMLs at work......my computer is now covered in a mix of coffee and saliva. And my boss thinks im insane!
bobak_can_ani 7
That actually Does feel good. His loss if he didn't know how to enjoy it.
NumberXIII 4
you should've started singing