Sex and Intimacy: Hummmmm

Hummmmm

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 16:11 - United States - Spokane

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 059

You deserved it 10 514

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Same thing different taste

Comedy gold

By Landdownunder - 05/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 324

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 300

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 656

You deserved it 12 193

By merpaderp14 - 09/09/2013 06:15 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 103

You deserved it 5 958

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 643

You deserved it 29 339

By disney_dick - 08/01/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 959

You deserved it 2 030

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 808

You deserved it 4 626

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 074

You deserved it 5 616

Bernie

By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 943

You deserved it 614

Honky

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 14:06 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 024

You deserved it 5 032

flashback.miss 28

Wednesday 28 August 2013 22:33

sweet of you to try something new to please your boyfriend, though.

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 28 August 2013 22:37

Maybe you should try one of those low, deep throaty hums, that should do the job properly and blow his brains away...

Comments

Jst4kicks 16

Wednesday 28 August 2013 23:26

hey, you tried.

skulskinator 5

Wednesday 28 August 2013 23:28

Wait one question how old are you two?0.o

skulskinator 5

Thursday 29 August 2013 4:33

Hey I'm just saying the only people I know with the music playing toothbrushes are like 10

Martinez0285 28

Wednesday 28 August 2013 23:31

if he has a singing toothbrush ... he's not old enough to blow bro

SkyBlueCloud 21

Wednesday 28 August 2013 23:37

Don't try anything you read in a magazine

buckdharma 36

Thursday 29 August 2013 0:12

Humm humm humm humm the cobbler's bench Humm humm humm the weasel Humm humm humm twas all in fun Pop goes the weasel

Ray_of_midnight 22

Thursday 29 August 2013 0:53

I see two people have mentioned Cosmo already. Let me tell you: Cosmo has the dumbest "sex tips" in the known Universe. You could get better sex tips from a room full of 30 year old virgins. At least one or two of them might have read a book or something.