Sex and Intimacy: Hummmmm - FML

Hummmmm

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 16:11 - United States - Spokane

Spicy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 059

You deserved it 10 514

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Same thing different taste

Comedy gold

By Landdownunder - 05/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 324

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 300

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 656

You deserved it 12 193

By merpaderp14 - 09/09/2013 06:15 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 103

You deserved it 5 958

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 643

You deserved it 29 339

By disney_dick - 08/01/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 959

You deserved it 2 030

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 808

You deserved it 4 626

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 074

You deserved it 5 616

Bernie

By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 943

You deserved it 614

Honky

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 024

You deserved it 5 032

Next

Top comments

flashback.miss 28

Wednesday 28 August 2013 22:33

sweet of you to try something new to please your boyfriend, though.

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 28 August 2013 22:37

Maybe you should try one of those low, deep throaty hums, that should do the job properly and blow his brains away...

Comments

Vanilla_Cupcake 10

Wednesday 12 October 2016 17:09

How old is he that he has a singing toothbrush? :S

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 938

You deserved it 46 015

The Top

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 026

You deserved it 5 614

Today, my socks are labeled "100% wool". If you looked at them, though, you'd have to admit that the correct label, after being used for months, would have to read something like, "50% wool, 30% dog hair, 20% cat hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 637

Today, I scratched my car with a bottle of scratch remover deeply enough that the scratch remover couldn't remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 575

You deserved it 590

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 975

You deserved it 38 255

Today, I had to tell a parent about her son kicking a boy in his class. She blamed me for not watching him. I wasn't watching him because I was turned around to care for another boy he had hit right before that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 698

You deserved it 2 132

Today, I wondered if my orgasms are worth the bother, seeing as I get horrible "I feel like I'm dying" cramps every time I climax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 972

You deserved it 2 985