Love and Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job....

By disney_dick - 08/01/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 975

You deserved it 2 038

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hummmmm

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 16:11 - United States - Spokane

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 119

You deserved it 10 532

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 53 765

Hush

By sXeQueen - 13/03/2010 15:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 299

You deserved it 31 054

By Subliminal message - 19/01/2014 23:21 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 744

You deserved it 8 498

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 307

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 651

You deserved it 29 367

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 046

You deserved it 42 028

By Annoyed - 15/01/2017 18:00

Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen Kung Fu Panda 3 yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 027

You deserved it 1 716

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 963

You deserved it 14 589

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 028

You deserved it 4 682

PhantomCrevan 8

Monday 18 December 2017 22:37

There could have been worse choices. Like "It's a Small World," or "Macarena."

Allie614032 34

Monday 8 January 2018 7:54

Oh, come on. He should be able to take a joke. At least he got a ******** out of it.

Comments

PhantomCrevan 8

Monday 18 December 2017 22:37

There could have been worse choices. Like "It's a Small World," or "Macarena."

ChakatBlackstar 29

Monday 8 January 2018 7:20

He might not have liked it, but I can't stop smiling. This is my new favorite ******** story.

Allie614032 34

Monday 8 January 2018 7:54

Oh, come on. He should be able to take a joke. At least he got a ******** out of it.

Dave_Davington 33

Monday 8 January 2018 8:05

I guess he feels like you didn't bring honour to us all.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 8 January 2018 8:45

That’s pretty awful! Just as bad would be “Take This ‘Job and Shove It” or “Never Gonna Give You Up.” To stick with the Disney theme, try “Someday My Prince Will Come.”

Yudith 24

Tuesday 9 January 2018 13:28

"Take this job and shove it" is much worse than Mulan. At least sleeping with a woman is a legitimate way of making a man out of you.

Travis D. Nyman 9

Monday 8 January 2018 10:16

it would work for me. provide a whole new meaning to mulan. but lmao

Lobby_Bee 17

Monday 8 January 2018 10:20

How can anyone get mad from a *******, unless it wasn't finished. Did you finish him off?

lexos 16

Monday 8 January 2018 12:55

Try big Shaq - man's not hot the next time

Glowworm56 26

Monday 8 January 2018 13:35

"Alright, that's it! Dishonor on your whole family! Make a note of this! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!"

pjsr 32

Monday 8 January 2018 16:56

********? Hum anything you want - makes no difference to me; I’m all in. Besides it could be worse: ‘You cum and go, you cum and go, karma chameleon’; Little Bitty by Alan Jackson; ‘I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth’ by One Direction