Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
sweet of you to try something new to please your boyfriend, though.
Wizardo 33
Maybe you should try one of those low, deep throaty hums, that should do the job properly and blow his brains away...
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Comments (106)
RedPillSucks 31
Singing toothbrush == too young to have sex
noir_heart 8
Bro, you're never too old to have a singing toothbrush.
smokecloud_ 37
try less of a hum and more of a moan.
rosaaaa_fml 6
You re not supposed to hum, you're supposed to sing INSIDE YOUR HEAD to keep rhythm.
Chopp8613 1
Am I the only one who wants their girlfriend to hum the rocky theme song?
BobbieH 19
Most of the thing you read in women's magazines are awful suggestions thought up by the author to fill space and meet a deadline. You rarely will find anything in those magazines that he will actually like let alone appreciate.
TrinityNevada 11
If something tickles or strikes you as stupid, you can't help laughing. And he is probably just a blunt person anyway. But you were trying to please him and if it were me, Maybe he needs a ******* break for being insensitive, though
carecow 16
Sweet attempt, but I'm guessing not only would you sound like a toothbrush, you'd feel like one aswell.
sammieshortcake 15
Maybe I'm wrong but I think the humming only works when a guy goes down on you. (My husband does that) but I couldn't imagine humming feeling good on a guy. Guys, input?
whatismissing 8
Uhm, I don't know - never tried it before. I'll try and let you all know.
bobak_can_ani 7
it does feel good baby
drshn 22
I d don't understand why you good so many negative voted. I think you Area right.
drshn 22
I actually meant to say, I don't understand why you are getting so many negative votes. I think you are right.
whatismissing 8
Well, at leaf you tried something.
HowsBoutaRoadie 8
I love the hum when I'm getting head. it's amazing