Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flashback.miss 28
sweet of you to try something new to please your boyfriend, though.
Wizardo 33
Maybe you should try one of those low, deep throaty hums, that should do the job properly and blow his brains away...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
ohro 10
That's an awful way to react. Keeps you from wanting to try new things. He should've appreciated it
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
It's not awful way to react. Maybe it's one that wasn't expected from OP but it's not her boyfriend screamed or shouted at her or pushed her away.
revolution4ever 14
Make sure clean your mouth good! Your toothbrush is so good it even comes with self-dispensing toothpaste!
Ziggy122 15
Lemme guess. You got that from Cosmo.
Enslaved 36
The hummingbird? New trick--what about massaging that triangle spot under his balls while doing it? (It's not quite anal play so it won't freak out those insecure "I'm not gay" guys)!
jessBeAqueen 13
I second this one
UnicornFarts 15
It is known as the taint.
LiterOfCola 16
Just cause you don't want your asshole touched doesn't mean you're insecure...
RedPillSucks 31
Your comment combines well with your profile picture
Freethaawave 19
Enslaved, you always have the realest comments though!
drshn 22
You know the trade girl. I bet you don't give your guy a chance to laugh
ksks1234 33
Never listen to Cosmo.
Freethaawave 19
One time I read in cosmo it said to "spice" it up in the bedroom by spanking your man with a spatula.....
iAlissa 34
"This is for telling me to be in the kitchen constantly!" *whap* "Okay, now **** me."
NiteShayd 10
Baby, baby, baby OOH!
gAt_d 26
At least you tried, OP
worldclassrager 39
Well maybe things will go on this...keep trying maybe it will grow on him...
Cristian89 29
It's true. It definitely works if you do it right
sisco2901 20
Guess his singing toothbrush won't suck his dick next time... On another note, I can confirm that advice works wonders, but maybe try it in a less conspicuous way - a 69 could take care of that.