Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I have a potty mouth and that I should clean it with Harpic. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
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Top comments
eyebrowzzz 21
Buy him XS condoms for Christmas and say "they were all out of S but these probably fit you better" ;)
Raxal 21
One can only wonder what he'll buy you for Christmas...
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Comments (84)
TTowntitan13 8
This an unacceptable as a birthday gift, and rude. However, even though it's delivery was poor, this could be a possible hint to personal hygiene of the nether regions...
PSYqualiac 17
Don't date creeps.
aamir251 18
Haha! Happy Birthday! Hope you otherwise had a great time :D
old_acc 18
.
cocacola999 27
I hope this gift was given in private, not in front of family and friends.
chosha_fml 27
There better have been some stunning *********** to follow that present.
Tr0ub3l 12
that's not a good gift...
tashinaherne 11
Sounds like he needs them more than you...
Steve95401 49
What a douche!
doctorhook86 25
#27: lololol, because vaginal hygiene... and douching... get it?
tdawg91 17
Yikes! I wonder what he's going to get you for Christmas!
OhWhoCares 42
I wonder what she's going to get him for Christmas...