Health, Sex, Birthday, Awkward and Intimacy: How romantic - FML

How romantic

By fishtacos - 01/12/2014 03:32 - United States - Fontana

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 160

You deserved it 6 756

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Same thing different taste

Charmer

By anonymous - 19/09/2010 00:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 9 146

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 6 876

By amber - 19/04/2012 18:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 730

You deserved it 4 780

By random123 - 29/11/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 155

You deserved it 7 740

How's about you go **** yourself, knobhead?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I have a potty mouth and that I should clean it with Harpic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 296

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 049

You deserved it 890

By Derp McShitstain - 16/09/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 712

You deserved it 2 769

PMS

By tamp - 22/06/2009 07:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 539

You deserved it 71 183

Ice age

By Drew - 16/01/2022 16:59

Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 141

By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 01/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 523

You deserved it 2 204

Next

Top comments

eyebrowzzz 21

Monday 1 December 2014 11:06

Buy him XS condoms for Christmas and say "they were all out of S but these probably fit you better" ;)

Raxal 21

Monday 1 December 2014 11:00

One can only wonder what he'll buy you for Christmas...

Comments

TTowntitan13 8

Monday 1 December 2014 11:54

This an unacceptable as a birthday gift, and rude. However, even though it's delivery was poor, this could be a possible hint to personal hygiene of the nether regions...

PSYqualiac 17

Monday 1 December 2014 11:55

Don't date creeps.

aamir251 18

Monday 1 December 2014 12:05

Haha! Happy Birthday! Hope you otherwise had a great time :D

old_acc 18

Monday 1 December 2014 12:06

.

cocacola999 27

Monday 1 December 2014 12:33

I hope this gift was given in private, not in front of family and friends.

chosha_fml 26

Monday 1 December 2014 12:35

There better have been some stunning *********** to follow that present.

Tr0ub3l 12

Monday 1 December 2014 12:41

that's not a good gift...

tashinaherne 11

Monday 1 December 2014 12:53

Sounds like he needs them more than you...

Steve95401 49

Monday 1 December 2014 13:13

What a douche!

doctorhook86 24

Monday 1 December 2014 14:49

#27: lololol, because vaginal hygiene... and douching... get it?

tdawg91 17

Monday 1 December 2014 14:59

Yikes! I wonder what he's going to get you for Christmas!

OhWhoCares 42

Monday 1 December 2014 18:25

I wonder what she's going to get him for Christmas...

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Keywords

Skincare Health Cats Gross Work Coworkers Animals Fire AITA Love Awkward Scams Money Cars Transportation Bikes Scary Dogs Family Covid Miscellaneous Motherhood Birthday Friends Jealousy Social Media Wanker Sex Intimacy Lonely

The Top

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 953

You deserved it 28 266

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 359

You deserved it 1 410

Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 521

You deserved it 2 790

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 2 638

Today, at the laundromat. I loaded a huge load into the top dryer, put all the quarters in, and started the bottom one. I realized my mistake when I came to check on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 161

You deserved it 3 824

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 900

You deserved it 3 224

Today, my wife told me that I was a 5 on the scale of how well I flirted and romanced her, and that the guy before me was a 9. This was at the kitchen table in front of our kids. They thought it was hilarious, and told me I shouldn’t bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 192