Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I have a potty mouth and that I should clean it with Harpic. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
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Top comments
eyebrowzzz 21
Buy him XS condoms for Christmas and say "they were all out of S but these probably fit you better" ;)
Raxal 21
One can only wonder what he'll buy you for Christmas...
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Comments (84)
aarsch8 5
That name though.
Hiphuray4peas 27
Vaginas are self cleaning body parts. Using soaps and cleansing products can upset the balance and make things worse by opening the door for things like yeast and bladder infections. They're not supposed to smell like roses. ****** cleaning products are just products created by men who can't accept the female body the way it is, reasserting the patriarchy and shaming women into feeling bad about their bodies. Useless products if you ask me.
redneckfrankie 13
aren't men awesome sometimes ?? I think you should buy him something along the same lines to get himself "spick-and-span"
MamiMasiaa 2
?????
lonerlarry123 12
he's a keeper