Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I have a potty mouth and that I should clean it with Harpic. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
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Top comments
eyebrowzzz 21
Buy him XS condoms for Christmas and say "they were all out of S but these probably fit you better" ;)
Raxal 21
One can only wonder what he'll buy you for Christmas...
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Comments (84)
otecasacid 22
I mean... It's not really nice of you to expect him to perform on you if you're not properly cleaned.
amarie2009 22
Everybody is jumping the guy, but could it not be that the girl needs to brush up on how to clean your cootch?
limabeans101029 21
You shouldn't need cleansing wipes to clean it though. All you need is warm water, other things can cause irritation.
ThePols 11
"I had you all over for dinner. Fish tacos. Why you gonna play me like that"
hateredblast 7
Thats the thing about boyfriends - its YOU who chose him, so dont complain when he does stupid shit!
dacheif117 8
The gift that keeps on giving!
Sakuraashita 15
He's a keeper...
kalbrek009 20
Idk what to say...by far, one of the most bizarre fmls I've read in the 3+yrs I've been reading them....maybe buy a tiny bottle of lotion & a magnifying glass for his b-day & a card that reads "it puts the lotion on its skin, else it gets the hose"?
interesting33 37
Vaginas are self cleaning.
BagelTheOtaku 25
take the hint
redstone7693 29
what about the pine apple juice