Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I have a potty mouth and that I should clean it with Harpic. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
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Top comments
eyebrowzzz 21
Buy him XS condoms for Christmas and say "they were all out of S but these probably fit you better" ;)
Raxal 21
One can only wonder what he'll buy you for Christmas...
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Comments (84)
liza1922 7
if you smell that bad you should get checked out by your doctor
Joestarry 8
That's a fantastic gift nobody wants ****** that smells like an asshole
skyeyez9 25
Buy him a ball scratcher or something equally ridiculous for his birthday.
wilber245 16
Next time he want to have sex, say my Hoo-Haa isnt spit and spank
Fas4wd 13
LOL!!!!!
TreeWizard 6
I think it's just a bad and straight forward way of saying " I'm not going down on that till u clean out the blue cheese...."
Kielnmsoftly 26
I voted yes for this one to get published ?
ofwgkta_laceup 11
I think that's a sign.
Mandybruin 15
For sexy time? :)
captainsmegma 12
Your twatath stinkus.