By MegaBear - United States Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML I agree, your life sucks 41771 You deserved it 3808 249 Comments Favorite Tweet Share MegaBear tells us more : Boss wasn't playing around. I did find it amusing and sad at the same time that they are my boss...
By Frustation - United States Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML I agree, your life sucks 26779 You deserved it 1783 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fml9124 - 22/10/2020 02:00 - United States Mixology Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML I agree, your life sucks 294 You deserved it 2218 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Silentshdw13 - United States - Arlington Today, after moving back in with my parents, I found out they had held on to a chunk of mail still being sent during the time I had been changing my old address. Included was a summons to jury duty. FML I agree, your life sucks 17652 You deserved it 1405 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mastel07 - United Kingdom - Stevenage Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML I agree, your life sucks 19216 You deserved it 44666 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Misty3242 - United States Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML I agree, your life sucks 36507 You deserved it 4111 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By misi Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML I agree, your life sucks 1600 You deserved it 109 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Granger Today, I got together a surprise party for my mom's birthday. I invited all her friends and her douchebag boyfriend who I don't get along with. When my mom got home, he took credit and got her friends to back him up with bribing. My mom said I'm selfish and horrible for not trying for her. FML I agree, your life sucks 25128 You deserved it 1516 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Venus He who smelled it… Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 32893 You deserved it 2682 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/2/2021 11:05 You tried Today, I’m a single parent and lately I’ve been working out to get healthier. During a session, I injured my back pretty badly. Now I need help getting out of bed, etc. I just wanted to make sure they wouldn’t ever need to take care of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 772 You deserved it 65 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML I agree, your life sucks 48420 You deserved it 5484 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By splooge - United States Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML I agree, your life sucks 51239 You deserved it 4045 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unfortunately Me - United States - San Jose Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML I agree, your life sucks 43030 You deserved it 12037 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Ireland - Dublin Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML I agree, your life sucks 48267 You deserved it 3969 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SeagullsShouldDie - United States Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML I agree, your life sucks 34049 You deserved it 3360 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Luna - United States - Carmel Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML I agree, your life sucks 33585 You deserved it 3511 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sri Lanka Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML I agree, your life sucks 33463 You deserved it 2774 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Earths_Venus - Australia Today, I sat for 3 hours at my boyfriend's Christmas celebrations. He has 22 cousins. They open presents one at a time. In silence. I got nothing. FML I agree, your life sucks 35186 You deserved it 3467 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/2/2021 02:02 Dragging it out Today, I hadn’t seen my boyfriend since New Year’s Day, then we went out for lunch Valentine's Day and at the end of the date he didn’t even kiss me. He texted me at midnight tonight saying he sorry he’s a jerk and broke up with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 923 You deserved it 83 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By XxmegaronixX - United States - Fond Du Lac Today, my workplace often leaves out "expired" food from the café that our department coincides with, as it is wasteful to throw away perfectly fine cuisine. I soon discovered that the inside of a seemingly normal looking cupcake was actually filled with mold when I took a large mouthful of it. FML I agree, your life sucks 13169 You deserved it 2922 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BoredRunner42 - United States Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML I agree, your life sucks 72495 You deserved it 6555 338 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 0h_Boy - United States - Brooklyn Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML I agree, your life sucks 26720 You deserved it 2508 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML I agree, your life sucks 45598 You deserved it 4068 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Michelle - United States Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32010 You deserved it 4950 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I set up a date between my roommate, who I'm in love with, and his crush, who I'm jealous of. FML I agree, your life sucks 1165 You deserved it 948 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Junktown - Israel Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML I agree, your life sucks 38565 You deserved it 6307 235 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "bluebird97" Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me 4 times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift 2 days in a row, apparently that is insensitive of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2652 That could've happened to me 223 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Agamar - United States - Skokie Today, I was so sleep deprived that while making instant oatmeal, I poured the oats into the garbage and put the empty packet in a bowl, then microwaved it for 2 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 20173 You deserved it 2661 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mmm - United States - San Francisco Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML I agree, your life sucks 13331 You deserved it 22993 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "BunnysKitty" Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML I agree, your life sucks 4920 You deserved it 867 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/9/2020 02:01 Send virtual hugs Today, I'm jealous of people who get to hug. My mom has banned hugs in the house because of COVID-19, and the only person I've hugged in the last 6 months is my boyfriend. He's been away for work for the past month and a half. FML I agree, your life sucks 1266 You deserved it 373 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/12/2020 19:58 F*ck the patriarchy Today, I watched as my girlfriend painfully plucked her eyebrows for half an hour. She is willing to do this, but not shave her armpits on a regular basis. FML I agree, your life sucks 515 You deserved it 961 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Arab Emirates Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 31287 You deserved it 7476 207 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By livvlynette - Australia Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML I agree, your life sucks 26041 You deserved it 4240 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/2/2021 20:00 Nervous Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 804 You deserved it 101 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML I agree, your life sucks 38105 You deserved it 2519 211 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/11/2020 20:02 It's not unusual Today, I complimented my crush. No, I didn't call her beautiful or sexy, though those definitely apply. No, instead, I called her scrumptious. I can't even begin to explain. FML I agree, your life sucks 684 You deserved it 253 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Katie - United Kingdom Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML I agree, your life sucks 25114 You deserved it 2842 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lamponau - France Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML I agree, your life sucks 36433 You deserved it 6149 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wheresthelove - United States Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML I agree, your life sucks 34789 You deserved it 3038 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Igballoon2 - 23/4/2020 14:00 Get a load of this nerd! Today, I was told that school was cancelled for the rest of the year. School is/was my one place of escape, and the only distraction in my life. It's now not going to be an escape until September. FML I agree, your life sucks 1656 You deserved it 250 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EvilDoll | 7 #2685912 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:08 fucking magnets, how do they work? Send a private message 101 1 Reply
By MyDixiNormous | 0 #2685916 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:11 Poor magnet will never live up to his expectations. Send a private message 64 0 Reply
Reply seanders | 10 #2685957 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:37 Makes you wonder what he tries to stick his penis in. Send a private message 25 3 Reply
Reply eminemchick | 19 #2686001 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 13:07 as epic mealtime would say. "smart!"xD Send a private message 3 5 Reply
Reply noto_fml | 0 #2686030 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 13:33 no, not shady at all Send a private message 2 6 Reply
Reply IceeCreamm | 7 #2686076 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 13:51 How is he a boss? Send a private message 13 3 Reply
Reply dre_bro11 | 12 #2686226 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 14:30 Well then OP, a pay rise shouldn't be too hard to get out of him. Send a private message 13 5 Reply
Reply sweeetas | 5 #2686250 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 14:38 yeah just show him how a magnet works. it totally screams promotion!! hah Send a private message 10 3 Reply
Reply dolphincheddar | 10 #2686253 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 14:40 stop watching your boss and do your job Send a private message 7 12 Reply
Reply ericb8272 | 2 #2686336 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 15:10 show him how magnets work...like a boss Send a private message 15 2 Reply
Reply YacL | 15 #2686950 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 16:49 "Listen here, noob." Send a private message 7 7 Reply
Reply delilahsmiles17 | 0 #2687153 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 17:19 Today, my favorite magnet broke. FML ;( Send a private message 23 4 Reply
Reply xxlauruh | 0 #2687180 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 17:24 is he a juggalo? Send a private message 6 11 Reply
Reply HannahForbesxo | 13 #2687317 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 17:51 Like a boss. Send a private message 4 2 Reply
Reply mygreenhoodie | 0 #2687834 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 19:03 fuckin' smart. Send a private message 2 6 Reply
Reply princessRiRi97 | 0 #2689982 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 23:16 Show him how to use his dick then you will get a promotion Send a private message 2 5 Reply
Reply mandipandi30 | 0 #2690278 - Thursday 16 June 2011 0:00 122-what's a juggalo?! Send a private message 1 7 Reply
Reply BShady96 | 0 #2690704 - Thursday 16 June 2011 0:53 Yo fuck Magneto, join the x-men they got a nicer crib Send a private message 0 5 Reply
Reply Darklord6980 | 5 #2691565 - Thursday 16 June 2011 3:28 it's spelled jigglalo.... Send a private message 6 4 Reply
Reply lv8898 | 0 #2692226 - Thursday 16 June 2011 5:25 stupidity should be punishable by death. this should be a universal law set for every country. Send a private message 4 1 Reply
Reply IHeartJimi02 | 0 #2693232 - Thursday 16 June 2011 10:24 194, your thinking of gigolo not jiggalo. There is such a person called a juggalo. Send a private message 1 1 Reply
Reply majorbob10 | 0 #3032376 - Wednesday 3 August 2011 23:37 But then everyone would DIE Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Temi25 | 6 #2685908 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:06 was there a thumbtack? Send a private message 26 4 Reply
Reply xlord | 27 #2686502 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 15:43 doesn't matter what he was doing as long as he did it LIKE A BOSS!!! Send a private message 23 1 Reply
Reply LaughinStock | 16 #2689564 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 22:16 WTF there is a real Micheal Scott 0.o Send a private message 4 0 Reply
Reply bagginzy | 14 #2691150 - Thursday 16 June 2011 1:54 OP, is your boss a Mormon? Send a private message 1 1 Reply
Reply MeBeYourFriend | 0 #2701449 - Friday 17 June 2011 11:30 OP, What kind of job are you working at? Cuz i can understand if its a Mental instute or an Aslyum, but i cant see any otrher "boss" sticking magnets to cardboard Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Reply Devyn333 | 16 #2707938 - Saturday 18 June 2011 9:56 I thought the FML said "midget". Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By Celesta | 11 #2685909 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:06 Why is your boss playing around? Send a private message 4 39 Reply
Reply abluekiwi | 0 #2686097 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 13:57 Science, woman! Send a private message 11 0 Reply
Reply Celesta | 11 #2686372 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 15:19 And he fails it obviously. :) Send a private message 3 4 Reply
Reply SuperCassie | 0 #2686442 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 15:32 whats so FML-ish in his story? the one that should be writing this is the boss cos someone saw his stupidy. Send a private message 1 1 Reply
Reply SuperCassie | 0 #2686458 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 15:34 i meant *stupidity Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Reply iluvnba | 0 #2686525 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 15:50 hes a boss he can try to stick a magnet to his penis if he wants Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By akvc | 0 #2685911 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:07 you should've asked him what he was doin, lol Send a private message 22 0 Reply
By EvilDoll | 7 #2685912 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:08 fucking magnets, how do they work? Send a private message 101 1 Reply
Reply SparrowFall | 0 #2686061 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 13:47 aw damn beat me to the joke. Send a private message 7 3 Reply
Reply xxGreenDay17xx | 0 #2687102 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 17:08 magic! Send a private message 3 1 Reply
Reply geko911 | 22 #2688152 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 20:01 the boss is a mormon! Send a private message 5 1 Reply
Reply undisclosed2600 | 2 #2690757 - Thursday 16 June 2011 1:00 Very carefully. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Reply EvilDoll | 7 #2690926 - Thursday 16 June 2011 1:25 bwahaha! I was afraid someone would beat me to this, but apparently in invincible. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Reply FeedMonkeyking | 4 #2691657 - Thursday 16 June 2011 3:42 I was laughing about this one before I opened the comments. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Reply FeedMonkeyking | 4 #2691659 - Thursday 16 June 2011 3:42 I was laughing about this one before I opened the comments. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Reply lifeguardd | 0 #2692432 - Thursday 16 June 2011 6:17 #6 evildoll thats. hilarious hahhahaha Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By MyDixiNormous | 0 #2685916 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:11 Poor magnet will never live up to his expectations. Send a private message 64 0 Reply
Reply T9FTW | 20 #5079302 - Thursday 25 October 2012 9:11 I burst out laughing at your username! Send a private message 0 2 Reply
By vanquish83 | 0 #2685918 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:11 Bosses are always right but some make a fool out of themself. Either u laugh or smile at them. I perfer laugh out loud..... Send a private message 9 9 Reply
Reply instnt1nfction | 17 #2685969 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:47 I prefer to creepy stare at them until they give me a raise Send a private message 19 0 Reply
Reply spoilt_ | 15 #2686010 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 13:12 Give you a raise for being creepy & staring? More like fire you for being a weirdo.. Send a private message 1 13 Reply
Reply llCHR15ll | 0 #2686472 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 15:36 I "perfer" correct punctuation... just saying ;) Send a private message 2 16 Reply
Reply llCHR15ll | 0 #2688038 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 19:34 pretty damn stupid. I'm not gonna show my face here for at least... an hour or two Send a private message 7 0 Reply
By LizzJizz | 16 #2685919 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:11 Cool lets see what he does with a staple gun :D Send a private message 29 2 Reply
Reply rattusrattus | 18 #2686000 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 13:06 He uses it to apply sellotape, obviously. Send a private message 9 0 Reply
Reply Capt_Oblivious | 10 #2686450 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 15:33 Hopefully he'll apply his toupee with it, that's the best way to do it after all, keeps it in place with no fear of slippage. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By iHaveADream_ | 0 #2685920 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:12 lolol, without dumb people, there wouldn't be anything to laugh at. Send a private message 21 1 Reply
Reply unluckiestperson_fml | 14 #2685967 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:45 If he's dumb enough to try that he'll be dumb enough to be persuaded to give OP a raise... Send a private message 8 0 Reply
Reply DarkHelmet | 10 #2687709 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 18:54 I agree with you both!! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Reply leader0011 | 5 #2687892 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 19:08 well if most peiple become dumb... would we laugh at the smart people Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By mk58 | 31 #2685921 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 12:12 That's one smart cookie. Send a private message 5 0 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 775 You deserved it 263 5 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 583 You deserved it 236 4 Comments