Work, Poopoo peepee and Awkward: Ice age - FML

Ice age

By Drew - 16/01/2022 16:59

Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 135

Work Poopoo peepee Awkward

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Same thing different taste

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 259

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 115

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 698

You deserved it 7 404

By Anonymous - 20/06/2015 01:22 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 884

You deserved it 14 187

Eau de toilette

By anon - 05/03/2011 10:15 - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 470

You deserved it 3 111

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 121

You deserved it 53 758

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 029

You deserved it 47 368

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 334

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:01

Today, after a particularly nasty shit, I decided to do one extra pass with a diaper wipe. What I didn't realize was that my wife had refilled the normal container with a pack of Clorox wipes by mistake. My asshole has never burned so fiercely in my 30+ years of life as it did in those following moments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 179

By no tp - 15/02/2012 01:26 - United States

Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 784

You deserved it 8 316

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 January 2022 17:17

Your girlfriend is pretty cold!

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 January 2022 23:36

Wipes are pre-moistened. Why his girlfriend froze them in the first place is the mystery here.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 January 2022 17:17

Your girlfriend is pretty cold!

JackWood 19

Sunday 16 January 2022 18:20

wth? TP doesn't freeze

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 January 2022 23:36

Wipes are pre-moistened. Why his girlfriend froze them in the first place is the mystery here.

Jeeper 9

Monday 17 January 2022 17:12

I assume he lives in a cold climate and they froze in the car overnight.

who.me 5

Monday 17 January 2022 8:27

The wipes were frozen

Hangryko 27

Sunday 16 January 2022 23:26

Get a TP holder installed or bring your own TP.

Keywords

Sex Love Health AITA Relatable Awkward Family Work Wake up Miscellaneous Dad jokes Dentist Fire Customers Annoying Ableism Vacation Transportation Capitalism Healthy Lifestyle Cute Wanker Sextoys Intimacy Tinder Kids Parents Money Embarrassing Dogs

The Top

Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 41 233

You deserved it 4 881

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I agree, your life sucks 51 881

You deserved it 7 177

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 234

You deserved it 13 191

Today, I was able to check my voicemail and email for the first time in two weeks. The only message I got was from my landlord telling me that the house I'm renting is in foreclosure, and I needed to have all my stuff out in ten days. He left the message nine days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 299

You deserved it 5 783