Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "Weighing my testicles… you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer." I'm a girl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
Today, my partner has been losing weight to get slimmer and took a picture of the scale. He posted it onto his Facebook and tagged me in it. After two hours we got messages from his family to look in the reflection of the glass on the scale and I was nude in the background. Thanks, Hun! FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend weighing a cup of shit on the kitchen scale. After I finished screaming in horror, he said he wanted to know how much his average dump weighed, so he could calculate how many pounds of shit he'd made in his adult life. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Outsider_77 0
Anyone who weighs his testicles should not be taken seriously.
Jovecove 13
FML Team, I request a WTF button.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
patrickalamo 48
Stupid is as stupid does
TipOfTheHat 10
A future winner of the Nobel Prize for his work in the field of medicine! I wonder what other secrets he has locked away!
ThatLooksSticky 16
He's right. If a girl's testicles are too heavy, she could have a serious problem.
Sammiches 12
Women with testicles.. D:
Joey44 15
We've just found the next Albert Einstein.
DeathBunny218 37
Now just imagine Albert Einstein squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked, weighing his testicles... FYL if you're imagining this.
esines 9
God dammit deathbunny...
jewclops 6
Hahahahaha!!!!!!! Oh man that's awesome!!!!!
afulks78 11
He was probably being funny. Dumbass
Njtorres 0
Mine weight 2.2 pounds and yes that's without hair
j_cat187 20
I have a feeling you might have testicular cancer since having no hair would be a sign of kemo.
P374RD3D 9
#161 donations to the study of mental retardation will be dedicated to you
michi23 0
You deserve it for walking into the bathroom while he was in their.
aurynforever 14
Liar
michael509 1
You know there's a great thing called "knocking on the door" you mite want to try it sometime.
michi23 0
Agreed