Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "Weighing my testicles… you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer." I'm a girl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
Today, my partner has been losing weight to get slimmer and took a picture of the scale. He posted it onto his Facebook and tagged me in it. After two hours we got messages from his family to look in the reflection of the glass on the scale and I was nude in the background. Thanks, Hun! FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend weighing a cup of shit on the kitchen scale. After I finished screaming in horror, he said he wanted to know how much his average dump weighed, so he could calculate how many pounds of shit he'd made in his adult life. FML
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Top comments
Outsider_77 0
Anyone who weighs his testicles should not be taken seriously.
Jovecove 13
FML Team, I request a WTF button.
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Comments (178)
applecaketree 0
FYL on so many levels :(
JinxosGirl87 0
He did this in hopes you would walk in on him and see his junk dangling there.
RedPillSucks 33
You should have told him he was doing it wrong. He needs to use the mammography press. Tell him to make sure they press really hard and put the x-ray machine on high, so things will be revealed in detail.
darrellyswagg 2
You can't weigh your nuts like that anyway, the weight would depend on how much pressure you squat. And testicular cancer isn't determined by the weight of them
The_creator_fml 2
Not true, if it was tom green would have made a song about it
stoneywoney 3
Wait, guys are rooming with girls?
lamc0885 0
That's messed up on sooo many different levels
lemon_phat 11
So does he know for sure he doesn't have cancer?!
DeathBunny218 37
If they share a flat together then they are technically flatmates not roommates
Boothroid 0
haven't met a bathroom scale my testicles didn't break
False_Stupidity 42
I feel sorry for you... You must be in so much pain.