Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "Weighing my testicles… you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer." I'm a girl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
Today, my partner has been losing weight to get slimmer and took a picture of the scale. He posted it onto his Facebook and tagged me in it. After two hours we got messages from his family to look in the reflection of the glass on the scale and I was nude in the background. Thanks, Hun! FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend weighing a cup of shit on the kitchen scale. After I finished screaming in horror, he said he wanted to know how much his average dump weighed, so he could calculate how many pounds of shit he'd made in his adult life. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Outsider_77 0
Anyone who weighs his testicles should not be taken seriously.
Jovecove 13
FML Team, I request a WTF button.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
cristina0323 0
wtf???????? LMFAOOOOO
cristina0323 0
poor him thts wat i dont like bout this, u start tlking bout ppl for the world to hear.... but i still do it xD
ScarletBloom 14
Kick his testicles! So that he doesn't have to worry about it because it is gone. But not literally of cause.
j_cat187 20
I might be tempted to try that. How dose he know you have balls?
demodemo69 0
He is a keeper, ha ha !!
bubo_fml 11
Kick him in the cods, watch 'em swell & say, "weigh 'em again, ya might have cancer!"
bubo_fml 11
Actually, I prefer a hands on approach...
Cheylea 10
Does he not realize that you are totally incapable of weighing your balls, considering you're a female?! Anyone who weighs their nut sack is a moron, no question about it.
Calyx_fml 22
BUT WE'VE GOT THE BIGGEST... BALLS OF THEM ALL!!!!!
RKD 23
Wow, not only is he stupid, but a douche, too!