Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "Weighing my testicles… you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer." I'm a girl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
Today, my partner has been losing weight to get slimmer and took a picture of the scale. He posted it onto his Facebook and tagged me in it. After two hours we got messages from his family to look in the reflection of the glass on the scale and I was nude in the background. Thanks, Hun! FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend weighing a cup of shit on the kitchen scale. After I finished screaming in horror, he said he wanted to know how much his average dump weighed, so he could calculate how many pounds of shit he'd made in his adult life. FML
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Top comments
Outsider_77 0
Anyone who weighs his testicles should not be taken seriously.
Jovecove 13
FML Team, I request a WTF button.
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Comments (178)
Outsider_77 0
Anyone who weighs his testicles should not be taken seriously.
Spoonz 4
What?! I don't take you seriously!
That0therguy 4
Go elsewhere spoonz. We don't serve your kind here.
ReptarSwag 4
The things some people do for weed....
chuchurocket 4
Was he hot?
thisisLAUREN 0
wow hahaha he needs a brain
MissBunnyWillEat 11
He was weighing it
zojieeu 6
You means his balls are his brain?
DynamicDave 11
Never let it be said that anything gets past 126 XD
MissBunnyWillEat 11
126- You catch on quick, bud.
eharmonee 0
136 you kinda look like Kesha in your pic(:
TrollisMe 5
It's all in his head...
QuisMysterium 4
170 - Yeah, the little head.
FarSide 23
Tell "Two hung low" he is nuts.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Booo.
flyingone 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your mate is flat??
Brool_Story_Co 17
Flatmate is what Roommates are called in Britain
lulupookiepoo 0
Haha ur so freaking funny
Jaguar1234 0
Makes sense gunna have to try it
thisisafunnyname 12
OP didn't have the balls to try it
jewclops 6
lol gotta love those bad puns
TheRealHouse 7
Puns are bad mmmmkay
twofirstnames 12
Not the brightest crayon in the box I see...
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
He's more on the side of bear hug brown or grotesque grey than super happy yellow or even a vivid violet :o
Capt_Oblivious 10
Probably more like the white crayon, there to take up space and give the illusion of more, but pretty useless and non functional in reality.
StopDropNRoll 11
What if they only have black paper to write on?
sadistmonkey 19
More like...not the biggest ball in the sac. Yeah, that's right.
ruthchun92 2
maybe he meant chesticles...breast health is important.
nonelikeworms 0
I need to start doing that.........
Ohmie 5
By that he means your boobs
marod02 0
Testicular cancer is no laughing matter
Outsider_77 0
I lol'd
RuCheezBurger 10
Il lol when retards like you get it
StopDropNRoll 11
Nope it's not. But weighing your nuts to check for it is pretty funny =D