Neighbours, Farts and Health: Hear this? - FML

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

agreeclassic 45 873

vote type 1 6 944

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Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

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Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML

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By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

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By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

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By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

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By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

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By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

mysadlyfe 9

Saturday 12 July 2014 3:37

I lost it at "my asshole went numb" sorry op!! sounds embarassing!

ForFudgeSake 6

Saturday 12 July 2014 3:37

You should have gone somewhere farter away.

Comments

abcdlovesu 3

Saturday 12 July 2014 16:10

Dafuq did u eat!?

BreathingClover 19

Saturday 12 July 2014 16:20

I favorited this. period.

Bugger_off 8

Saturday 12 July 2014 17:16

The amount of fart stories here is disturbing. What do you people eat?

HotShot313 15

Saturday 12 July 2014 17:50

hahah best FML I've ever read!!!

TheVurcle 10

Saturday 12 July 2014 19:34

That's nasty

spideysfml6686 2

Saturday 12 July 2014 19:53

lol wow !

jonnypoopsies 3

Saturday 12 July 2014 20:43

I wish your neighbor had a fml account

lizzy6262 3

Saturday 12 July 2014 20:53

I'll be doggone if I'd be ashamed!!

toiletavenue 4

Saturday 12 July 2014 21:17

YDI for farting!

GlasgowSneer 13

Saturday 12 July 2014 22:16

I didn't think this was possible unless you shit your pants... lay off the bean burritos, perhaps?

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