Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 839
You deserved it 6 930

Same thing different taste

Top comments

mysadlyfe 9

I lost it at "my asshole went numb" sorry op!! sounds embarassing!

You should have gone somewhere farter away.

Comments

bookie1981 7

Maybe he was choking from the smell?

91hayek 31

I like how you started with 'gastric distress' having me think you were a demure, proper lady too polite to type out 'fart'. Then suddenly I'm reading graphic descriptions of the numbness of your sphincter. This FML getting a gold star from me.

You know it's a good one when your chili hole goes numb. I think your neighbor was quietly impressed & jealous of your superior farting prowess. So you left him speechless.

Talk about explosive first impressions

That is why you stay inside to rip yourself a new asshole lol

RedPillSucks 31

Op, you expect me to believe that your fart left your ass, climbed over a fence, and entered your neighbor's nasal passages, producing a cough I might add, in one second? I tend to believe the shot came from the gassy troll, a second pooter, if I may.

I think the neighbours cough may have been more of an embarrassing "WTF?" Or an "I totally just heard that" kind of cough.

I love the fact that you had to limp. That was the fart of all farts.

A fart that made you yelp in pain? Left your asshole numb? Wow must have been some fart, sounds impressive xD

Love your username OP, totally applies to anyone contemplating one of those overused xx situation puns. Oh and that fart.. really impressive!

I meant to add, There's no shame in letting rip with such an impressive monster. You should have stayed where you were and owned up to that one with pride!