By Anonymous - 20/2/2021 19:58 - Czech Republic - Prostejov

Time to ditch

Today, I'm worried senseless over my mom who's in hospital in an induced coma due to COVID-19, and my boyfriend complains that I don't want to have sex with him as often as he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1269

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122

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Intimacy

Sex

Covid

Corononavirus

This Charming Man

Dangling modifier

Damn squares!

By 8to10days - United Kingdom

Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11850

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54788

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By ClumsyBarista - United States - Springfield

Today, while serving a line of ten customers by myself at the coffee shop I work at, I knocked over a cup of steaming hot milk and it went all over the coffee bar, espresso machine, floor, and myself. I then had to act like everything was fine and make a line of drinks with milk everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7898

You deserved it

1034

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By nekal - United States - Nashville

Today, I tried to sneakily leave my boyfriend's house at 3 a.m. without his parents knowing. I had a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11867

You deserved it

3613

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By I don't condome that, babe - United States - Lutz

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44596

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By brokenglass - 24/3/2021 21:30

Overreaction much?

Today, while bringing my grandmother some water, I tripped, dropping and shattering the glass. Infuriated, she explained to me that the glass was worth more than I am and ordered me out of her house for good. I live there. I was also with her when she bought the glass. $10 for a set of 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks

937

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By testesential - United States

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56631

You deserved it

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By hawaiiansokkrboi - United States

Today, I was practicing soccer at my school. My team was practicing penalty kicks. It was my turn up and this cute girl that I like was watching off ten feet away from the goal. I was running to take the kick when I slipped and kicked the ball. It hit her head and now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48243

You deserved it

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By me - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28364

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks

54210

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Canada - Canal Flats

Today, a little girl locked all the stalls in the girls' bathroom where I work and crawled under the doors. I then had to crawl around on the bathroom floor in order to unlock the doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17329

You deserved it

1269

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By -_- - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48418

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 1/6/2020 23:00

Non-baby fever

Today, I found out that my fiancé, with whom I've been with for 10 years, doesn't want to have sex with me because he thinks I'm going to trap him into having a baby. He sees me take my contraceptive pill nightly and knows I was booked in for having a coil fitted before Covid-19 happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1751

You deserved it

251

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By EmbarrassedWife

Today, I texted my husband saying, “No sex tonight, it’s a bloodbath” and realized it was in a group chat with his parents, not directly to him like I'd intended. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2288

You deserved it

1909

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37884

You deserved it

4490

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving, I realized I had left my phone on top of my car when I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look for it. I found it in the middle of the street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to my car, I noticed I had locked my door. And the keys were in the ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18077

You deserved it

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By wtfiswrongwithher - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46678

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Overreaction much?

Today, my boyfriend's mum yelled at me for, "nagging Stephen to get married when he isn't ready." I mentioned marriage once. At my sister's wedding. When prompted by my grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1491

You deserved it

309

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By Ren - United States

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31381

You deserved it

2132

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By B-rent - United States

Smells like victory

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35958

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Logan

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44517

You deserved it

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By Rar - United States - Palatine

Today, I went to the airport a full three hours before my flight departure time just to be on the safe side. I ended up having the best nap of my life and missing my flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30815

You deserved it

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By Sonofaquiche

Today, I had to help my grandma because her TV suddenly stopped working. She has cable as well as satellite, so she figured she didn't need the satellite receiver anymore. Apparently the best way to do get rid of it was to cut all the cables connected to the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4911

You deserved it

447

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By sonwhy - United States - Brookfield

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39579

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By goodstudent - United States

Today, I was supposed to take a test, but the professor didn't have it ready because he went to a concert last night. I sold my own tickets to that very concert in order to study for the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44571

You deserved it

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By ptwm - United States

Malding

Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31505

You deserved it

2917

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By erika - United States

Today, I got a sunburn all over my stomach from a tanning bed. In an attempt to relieve the itching, I looked up natural treatments since we have no aloe. After trying yogurt, milk and mayo I found out that our water was shut off so the shower could be fixed. I now reek of mayo and milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15813

You deserved it

46831

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By Anonymous - 27/4/2021 22:59

Can't buy me love

Today, my girlfriend saw my secret money stash for emergencies and broke up with me, after calling me a greedy asshole and not telling her before. According to her, we could have taken a lot of trips around the country, because, "your money is mine, too." We dated for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1589

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By forever dog-less

Today, my mom told me to go meet a rescue dog. After doing all my research and emailing shelters left and right, I finally got a call. It went well! Then, my mom told me it would never happen. I'm still expecting several emails from the shelters I contacted, so I get to relive this pain. FML

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2185

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML

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57722

You deserved it

7762

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By Anonymous - United States - Durham

Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone screen and my sunglasses. My idiot brother launched me out of it, so he could "assert his dominance." He's 11. FML

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18820

You deserved it

1774

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By mandy - Australia

Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML

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70169

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By JoblessandStupid - United States - Stockbridge

Today, I got pissed and tried to storm out of work, only to get outside and realize I couldn't because I'd let my coworker borrow my car for lunch. FML

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5493

You deserved it

2403

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By tillyg15 - United Kingdom - Droitwich

Today, I had to ring up our local competitors to get prices for paint. I pretended I'd just bought a house and was doing it up, and I actually got excited about doing up a make-believe house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21243

You deserved it

4830

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By sneezeattack - United States - Aurora

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30882

You deserved it

4271

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By jonchavez - United States - Trenton

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53356

You deserved it

4674

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By vikts - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23191

You deserved it

1926

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By omgwtf - United States

Today, it was Homecoming. During the dance, I saw this mentally handicapped guy ask this pretty girl to dance. She said no. So I went over to him and asked him to dance. He replied that he only wanted to dance with "pretty girls" and I was not one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54656

You deserved it

5509

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By robert - United States

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25332

You deserved it

4192

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By asianjoe - United States

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31761

You deserved it

2774

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

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10431

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Top comments

By Cinthya Marie | 1

#7973041 - Saturday 20 February 2021 20:19

Your mother is in the hospital and he is more worried about his sex life?! Leave him...NOW!

By mmmmmm no | 1

#7973074 - Saturday 20 February 2021 22:16

He's still your bf after that? Learn from my mistakes..... leave him ASAP! if not he will leave you down the road.

COMMENTS

By Cinthya Marie | 1

#7973041 - Saturday 20 February 2021 20:19

Your mother is in the hospital and he is more worried about his sex life?! Leave him...NOW!

By RichardPencil | 30

#7973045 - Saturday 20 February 2021 20:32

I'm so sorry.

It'd be a bad time to lose a boyfriend right about now.

By J15237 | 25

#7973056 - Saturday 20 February 2021 21:37

I feel like its time to really evaluate your relationship. I am not positive that this is the man for you. Especially if his focus is not on your feelings and well being during this tough time. I hope all the best for your mom.

By mmmmmm no | 1

#7973074 - Saturday 20 February 2021 22:16

He's still your bf after that? Learn from my mistakes..... leave him ASAP! if not he will leave you down the road.

By Bozo | 3

#7973092 - Saturday 20 February 2021 23:24

We'll all die at some point. Sex is the best way to move past this.

Levi2411 | 39

#7973531 - Monday 22 February 2021 19:34

Stay single.

By rainbowdonnareed | 18

#7973122 - Sunday 21 February 2021 3:59

Step one ignore him. Second call someone who will understand.
prayers for your family

By Hangryko | 17

#7973226 - Sunday 21 February 2021 17:00

Dump his insensitive selfish ass. I'm so sorry your mom is ill.