By Anonymous - 20/2/2021 19:58 - Czech Republic - Prostejov

Time to ditch

Today, I'm worried senseless over my mom who's in hospital in an induced coma due to COVID-19, and my boyfriend complains that I don't want to have sex with him as often as he wants. FML

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1058

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Intimacy

Sex

Covid

Corononavirus

Commando

TMI

Trip Advisor says no

By Anonymous - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56080

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

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40563

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59348

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By missseloit3

Et tu, Brute?

Today I caught my husband cheating on me in our bed with my 19-year-old brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9167

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535

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By Anonymous - United States - Auburn

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29982

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By OhJoy - United States

Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40165

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65651

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By Anonymous - United States - Normal

Today, it's the 6th day in a row my roommate has not left our dorm room. I miss jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4765

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By :( - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I had a Chinese test. Our teacher decided to wait until yesterday to tell us about it because she "knew" we wouldn't study anyway and she didn't want to stress us out. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20182

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By Anonymous - United States - Toledo

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38898

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By Anonymous - 2/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Keep the peace

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

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622

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By Eric Jurgensen - 10/6/2020 17:03

Used

Today, I found out my now ex-girlfriend had only moved in to spite her mother, not because she loved me. Five months of falling in love, just to find out I was just being used to get back at her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1486

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By Anonymous - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I'm so lazy, I dread getting up early on days that haven't arrived yet. For stuff I actually like doing, too. FML

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18176

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By TheCrossingChick - United States

Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML

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14623

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By yum - United States - Sylmar

Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML

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48189

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By grant b - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

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35310

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25094

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By ostler - United Kingdom

Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently if you're tee-total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32768

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By Disappointed - United States

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26379

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By Julianapilikusplatosophophes - Australia - Kew

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30783

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By bitchasshonky - France

Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his room mate. It's been 45 minutes and its still going. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37848

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By blarg - United States

Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13948

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By oooooopss - United States - Portland

Today, I got into my car and it wouldn't start. I noticed I had left the lights on and assumed the battery was dead. Then, I couldn't get my key out of the ignition. So, I called AAA only to have the guy put my car in park and start the engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7823

You deserved it

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By Le Dookie - United States - Sugar Land

Today, I got denied a refund for my dream coffee machine. I've overdrafted my bank account to buy it on Offer Up for an excellent price, but USPS delivered the package to a wrong address. Someone got it for free. Offer Up won't refund me because it says "delivered" on the tracking page. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3170

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45280

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By Godfree - United States

Today, I was walking to a meeting and saw two girls trying to jump start a car in the rain. Thinking I'd be a gentleman and help them, I offered to assist. The girl whose car is broken down looks at me, looks at her friend, and says, "I think we'd better call the police." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43763

You deserved it

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By legit247 - United States - Moscow Mills

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47656

You deserved it

9409

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By need an appendickectomy - Finland

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42720

You deserved it

3173

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By Anonymous - United States - New Orleans

Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML

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23703

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By what434 - United States

Today, I learned that you don't put your diamond earrings on over your bathroom sink. FML

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11249

You deserved it

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By NewFiancee - United States

Today, I went out for dinner with my parents where they asked me if I was still dating my boyfriend so I answered no. They quickly responded by saying, "Oh so you finally got rid of that douchebag? It's not like he was getting anywhere in life anyways." I answered no because he's my fiancé now. FML

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50152

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By apparentlynotengaged - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my fiancé won't tell people we're engaged because his mother doesn't approve, and he doesn't want to upset her. FML

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1726

You deserved it

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By Brokenheartz - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Happy Valentine's Day anyway

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months told me he was not going to celebrate Valentine's Day because it was a "capitalistic consumerism holiday." He works in a bank and helps "capitalistic consumerism" 364 days a year. FML

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26877

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By danielesnaranjo

Drunk online shopping FTW!

Today, after waking up with the worst hangover in years, I got a bank notification that my credit card was maxed out. Apparently, I bought a $1500 plane ticket for my ex-girlfriend to come over this weekend. She’s in South America. FML

I agree, your life sucks

659

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Troy

Today, my parents finally fulfilled my wish of a pet that I could take care of for a few years. They got a parrot. I guess 75 years or more is a few years to my parents. FML

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5755

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38455

You deserved it

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By hopeless - United States

Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML

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12987

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By Anonymous - 15/3/2020 18:07

Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks

Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

773

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, I asked my boyfriend of 7 months to come over on Valentine's Day so I can cook dinner for him. He asked if he could invite his wife over as well. Guess who's newly single right before Valentine's Day! FML

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4442

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By Anonymous

Kids, eh?

Today, I was with my four year-old daughter when we met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman I know. My daughter looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?" FML

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1465

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Top comments

By Cinthya Marie | 1

#7973041 - Saturday 20 February 2021 20:19

Your mother is in the hospital and he is more worried about his sex life?! Leave him...NOW!

By mmmmmm no | 1

#7973074 - Saturday 20 February 2021 22:16

He's still your bf after that? Learn from my mistakes..... leave him ASAP! if not he will leave you down the road.

COMMENTS

By Cinthya Marie | 1

#7973041 - Saturday 20 February 2021 20:19

Your mother is in the hospital and he is more worried about his sex life?! Leave him...NOW!

By RichardPencil | 29

#7973045 - Saturday 20 February 2021 20:32

I'm so sorry.

It'd be a bad time to lose a boyfriend right about now.

By J15237 | 22

#7973056 - Saturday 20 February 2021 21:37

I feel like its time to really evaluate your relationship. I am not positive that this is the man for you. Especially if his focus is not on your feelings and well being during this tough time. I hope all the best for your mom.

By mmmmmm no | 1

#7973074 - Saturday 20 February 2021 22:16

He's still your bf after that? Learn from my mistakes..... leave him ASAP! if not he will leave you down the road.

By Bozo | 3

#7973092 - Saturday 20 February 2021 23:24

We'll all die at some point. Sex is the best way to move past this.

Levi2411 | 38

#7973531 - Monday 22 February 2021 19:34

Stay single.

By rainbowdonnareed | 15

#7973122 - Sunday 21 February 2021 3:59

Step one ignore him. Second call someone who will understand.
prayers for your family

By Hangryko | 17

#7973226 - Sunday 21 February 2021 17:00

Dump his insensitive selfish ass. I'm so sorry your mom is ill.