Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML
Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
DedicatedNova 13
My mom is a science teacher. I feel your pain OP.
iSativa 24
Good experience for when you have to do it in school but that's still horrifying. FYL.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (114)
HJKM_fml 19
That bird might be carrying a disease and she should know that if she's a bio teacher. It's not like what schools and universities use which are checked and treated so students can't get a disease.
worldclassrager 39
I really hope you don't have any pets...
Epikouros 31
I feel like I missed out because I didn't get to cut up anything but boring flowers in biology class. On the other hand, I did get to see our neighbor slaughter some of his rabbits and chickens, which was awesome.
hazardmuffin 21
I would have jumped at that opportunity, but then I was a crazy, science-obsessed kid. (Now a crazy, science-obsessed adult!) Your mom's awful for forcing you to do something like that, though. You'd also think she'd know better than to dissect a wild, potentially diseased animal in the KITCHEN. I hope she had gloves and sanitized EVERYTHING afterwards.
Sitting_Ducki 8
call cps
jacklyn13 5
Well now none of ur friends will be eating over lol!!!!
sporteeholmes01 15
That would be awesome!!!! I would pay to do that!!!
jadeystram 3
I think it's a good thing!! I also think we need to take our kids to the freezing works too. I went and so many kids were like I can't eat meat any more. Where did you think it came from? Know where your food comes from. We have a freezer full of home kill from my Poppas farm too. Kids are covered in cotton wool these days and need to learn about this shit and stop being pussys.
JohnTheLad 13
"Get to work children."
chilliris 5
Your mum scares me :/