Kids: Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for...

By Brotherssuckkk - France

Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML

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33083

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Kids

Trip Advisor says no

Workaholic

Public transport FTW

By cheese - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, I summoned the courage to talk to my friends about the money they owe me for my photography services at their wedding. We had agreed on a fair price, but now they're pissed, claiming that I'm being selfish and should consider it my wedding gift to them. FML

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49266

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By BossesLittleBrat - United States - Jamestown

Today, my brat of a coworker tried to convince our boss that I should get paid half of what I'm making because I broke my right arm. I'm left handed, broke it on the job, and still doing a better job than her. She makes double what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13732

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836

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By CierraJordan - United States

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

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31067

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2704

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By Tey - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28823

You deserved it

17802

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By Anonymous - Australia - Townsville

Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27178

You deserved it

10115

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By smarie09 - Canada

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

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26030

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By itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States - Bentonville

Thanks, auntie

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

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38951

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By Anonymous

Today, as I was perusing old photos with my mother, I found one of her with a "childhood friend" at her wedding to my dad. Now I know where my green eyes and blotchy neck birthmark came from, and it's not from the man I’ve been calling "dad" for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5731

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254

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By Anonymous - United States - Eagle Point

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47015

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3520

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out my ex got invited to our Christmas Party. I also found out that she got much more presents and money from my family than I did. FML

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32323

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By shouldhavestayedinbed - United Kingdom

Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13194

You deserved it

1993

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By Anonymous - United States - Norman

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38105

You deserved it

20178

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By Anonymous

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1408

You deserved it

326

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By Anonymous - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20160

You deserved it

1544

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By married an old man - United States - Rancho Mirage

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47909

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6684

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By Ihatebuses

Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3770

You deserved it

310

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By Anonymous - Philippines - Makati

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8065

You deserved it

32124

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By Anonymous - Ghana - Accra

Today, I'm on holiday in Ghana. After having worn an anklet I bought here for the past two weeks, I was told that it's used by the local prostitutes to advertise their trade. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51398

You deserved it

7883

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By InsaneIdiots

Today, after recovering from surgery, I was leaving the clinic when a bucket of red paint was thrown at me, and a woman shouted that I was a murderer. I replied, "Sorry, would you like me to ask the doctor for my ovarian cyst back so I can pretend it was a fetus?" She hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2880

You deserved it

165

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By Anonymous

He's a very naughty boy

Today, I found out that my roommate is starting a religion in which he doesn't believe in humanly things, such as paying rent. FML

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1443

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132

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my bratty sister shoved me overboard during a boat ride. Not ten seconds after being pulled back on board, I got an earful of abuse from my parents. My sister is the family favorite and they refuse to believe that I didn't "provoke" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15566

You deserved it

881

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By Anonymous - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32893

You deserved it

1939

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By Teddy Bear

Today, while working in a kids' shop, I absent-mindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then hear a deep man's voice say "I'm not a little man." FML

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2080

You deserved it

538

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By wtf mom?!

Today, I completely lost it when I found out my mom was driving around with my 20-month-old daughter not sat in a car seat. She told me I was overreacting, and that everything was fine since she “prayed for a safe journey.” FML

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2575

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208

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By fiendishkitty - United States

Today, six years after hurricane Katrina took everything from me, I received a letter in the mail from FEMA telling me that I have to repay them the money I received to replace what was lost. I have 30 days to repay $4,900 or the case will be sent into federal debt collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49778

You deserved it

4088

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By Sack - United Kingdom

Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27365

You deserved it

6055

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By Anonymous - United States - Eureka

Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31451

You deserved it

4267

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By kaitylait - Canada

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30444

You deserved it

11086

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By Mexican - United States - Chicago

Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They finally gave in. After they handed me my diploma, they decided to leave because it was "too boring." I'm currently sitting on the curb of the street waiting for my Uber, while people take pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18339

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1476

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By Aaron - United States

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16604

You deserved it

55875

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By wellhellothere - United States

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34879

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3302

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By izoliv - France

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

38586

You deserved it

10710

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By anon - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

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33651

You deserved it

2566

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By Stupid-Brain - 6/10/2020 09:59

Please like me

Today, like every other time for as long as I can remember, even the slightest suggestion that someone doesn't want to be around me sends me into a major panic attack. I've been in therapy for three years to try and handle my anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1022

You deserved it

172

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By DuckMan

Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1405

You deserved it

2548

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By ill - Canada

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43129

You deserved it

3519

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By Loney

#blessed

Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4449

You deserved it

569

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By Anonymous - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I got cited for "internet plagiarism" and called to the dean's office. I'd been sitting a closed-book written exam, and my teacher had been breathing down my neck the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44809

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By wowsucks - United States

Today, I realized that the only reason my boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at my house for the past two months is because my little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to their mario kart dates. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29748

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

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17154

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Top comments

By Future_Mrs_Voltz | 0

#783126 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:05

why did you want more than $10? all you did was grab three things

By nandonando | 0

#783123 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:04

is your friend hot?

COMMENTS

By nandonando | 0

#783123 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:04

is your friend hot?

DragonMasterMF | 0

#783953 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 10:04

If yes:

Is she naked?

cotter567 | 0

#795615 - Sunday 24 January 2010 16:01

what the he'll is wrong with your brother? is he like frigfen mentally handicapped or something like seriously.

rupert_45 | 0

#1004688 - Monday 24 May 2010 1:41

can I keep the photo?

hb215 | 2

#4806177 - Sunday 12 August 2012 22:24

What if OP is a guy?

reddawn1985 | 12

#4837315 - Monday 20 August 2012 6:36

A dead bird....?

By Future_Mrs_Voltz | 0

#783126 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:05

why did you want more than $10? all you did was grab three things

b182link | 0

#969402 - Saturday 27 March 2010 19:01

plus she got a free meal and a picture of her friend so she can frame it on her room

By caancoha | 0

#783128 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:05

Look, you have dinner and decorations.

jessxoxo28 | 5

#783537 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 4:39

haha #3 bitchhh

By MrC19 | 0

#783131 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:06

this isn't really a fml

PunxsatownyPhil | 0

#783288 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 2:07

She/he had to pull a dead bird out from under a bed.

By urlifesbeeneffed | 0

#783137 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:07

it doesn't even end with FML

By rachexl | 0

#783140 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:07

great job mods... no FML?

Vanni | 0

#783149 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:08

Sorry, accidental backspace!
>_>

Sirin_fml | 46

#783438 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 3:32

*facepalm*

By Nic_hole | 0

#783141 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:07

hahaha #3 lolz, dang..xD

By HeresReality | 0

#783144 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:08

you get $10, this isn't an fml

By bbq34567 | 2

#783150 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:09

You shouldn't have even got $10

Just think of what kids in Chinese sweatshops have to do for $10

krnmafia92 | 0

#783367 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 2:56

Unless I read this wrong, he isn't in a Chinese sweatshop. Hence, your point is moot.

This is not an FML. You got $10 and a prank prop.

growingupnextmon | 3

#784033 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 11:54

He just did a lot more work then some people do for ten dollars...especially if the bird had been there a while.

sleepyolivia | 14

#6665432 - Friday 5 August 2016 2:51

Kids in Chinese sweatshops don't do anything for ten dollars. China doesn't use USD currency.

(This is a joke.)

By gobbledegook | 0

#783158 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:10

wow this isn't an fml, who moderated this?

Sirin_fml | 46

#783442 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 3:34

About 500 of your peers, me included. You called?

iBlazer | 0

#783746 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 6:59

FML's get worse by the day. Today, I had to pick up a rotten apple. I only got paid $10 for it. FML. Give me a break.

viviville | 0

#3003741 - Saturday 30 July 2011 20:22

plus the picture and the DEAD BIRD. jeez