Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML
Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML
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Top comments
DedicatedNova 13
My mom is a science teacher. I feel your pain OP.
iSativa 24
Good experience for when you have to do it in school but that's still horrifying. FYL.
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Comments (114)
IvyOswin 17
It's always time for a science lesson!
xElitexGamer 5
Well it's not like everybody gets to do something like that.
askullnamedbilly 33
Well that's no way to spread the love for science.
dractheripper 11
I like the way your mother thinks. My mum and I used to do all sorts of weird science stuff, and she wasn't even a teacher. We were just curious about everything. We never got to dissect anything though, and I still want to. It may seem morbid, but you'll come of laugh at such things.
rs89 20
I can't help but feeling a little concened since you still want to experience the dissection while your username and profile picture imply death... Morgue has a place for calibers like you :D
xerbrus 14
one there's nothing wrong with wanting to dissect an animal out of curiosity. two of he were a sociopath he would not be so open about his fascination with death in his public lifestyle. he's probably a metal head and thinks that skulls look cool, and they do
dractheripper 11
Actually, I'm a she, but fml dislikes me greatly when I attempt to correct my account. My picture is a piece by H.R.Giger (if that sounds familiar its because he was the mastermind behind the design of Alien) who is one of my favourite artists. I enjoy metal, yes, but currently I prefer classical and folk - and my mind is rather scientific, so I enjoy taking things apart. My username is simply a nickname I was given because of a minor research project of human sacrifice throughout history, among other factors. I am not mentally disturbed but I would not mind being a coroner.
asc2013 9
Hopefully she won't demand the same with your pets....
applebramble 22
That would be a ******* HELL NO from me
FemskyD 26
Informing your brother on the birds and the bees? :p
Vitally 6
Look on the bright side, you might be a Disney princess. Keep your window open and next time some animals might come in and help clean your room or something.
Thunderstruck14 30
Huh. I always enjoyed dissecting things in class, but I also get quite emotional at times when it comes to people, animals, stuffed animals, and even other inanimate objects, like tissues and balloons. I'm not sure if being told to dissect a bird would excite me or horrify me... either way, no one should ever be forced to do something like that.
zaise_chsa 19
But what's Batman going to do without his sidekick?
Dthsapprntc 23
Eh, the bird is dead anyway, it's not going to feel anything. Might as well put it to some good use. Who knows, you might learn something in the process. And commence down thumbing in 3, 2, 1, go.
zaise_chsa 19
Is it bad that I agree with you? I found cutting into frogs very educational.
sourgirl101 28
My husband and I were lab partner when we were in high school. Our dissected frog also had a crawfish in its stomach. We then dissected the crawfish afterward. Double the education!