Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep for three hours. FML
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 38
You should have booked it out of there. Your gas speaks volumes about you. Don't shelf this issue- I would get your colon checked periodically.
DocBastard 38
I always thought that stood for "Lockheed Martin Astronautics Operations," but it all makes sense now!
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Comments (137)
stephanie911_fml 0
That's VERY attractive. & Sexxy.
zenti 2
I wouldn't be concerned, I'd be entertained.
DocBastard 38
You should have booked it out of there. Your gas speaks volumes about you. Don't shelf this issue- I would get your colon checked periodically.
skyttlz 32
I get it. booked, shelfed.. cuz she was in a library
jakeisawake 3
Did you get the "volumes" and "periodically" as well?
bigbadtim 7
Maybe OP is having problems with their appendix as well.
lil_ham1644 29
She doesn't have the spine to face them
MermaidSongXOXO 6
OP wanted to read The Tell-Tale Fart.
xninix_fml 36
Lol nice one
dicklover69 0
Sometimes i fart, talk, and ********** in my sleep. That is normal
zp5 4
your username concerns me. this if FML. not a **** site.
dicklover69 0
True, that is hot and so are you. Farting is part of everyday lives and funny
zfjyyzg 0
Hahahahahaha! Nice job.
dicklover69 0
Farting is just funny to me.
dicklover69 0
Farting is not funny, you are just disgusting.
zp5 4
stop talking to yourself.
dicklover69 0
I was not talking to myself, just replying to the comment.
zp5 4
no worries OP. even though its embarrassing, it happens to everyone.
dicklover69 0
Farting do not happen to everyone. It only happens to people who are disgusting and have unhealthy lifestyles. back in my country, people who fart were workers of the DEVIL and punish.
zp5 4
technically, it didn't say "constantly". it could just mean the guy farted every once in a while for a half an hour.
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
thank you, captain obvious
zp5 4
you're welcome lieutenant smart-ass.
bigjohnny 3
this is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. don't worry I fart in my sleep too.