Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep for three hours. FML
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 38
You should have booked it out of there. Your gas speaks volumes about you. Don't shelf this issue- I would get your colon checked periodically.
DocBastard 38
I always thought that stood for "Lockheed Martin Astronautics Operations," but it all makes sense now!
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Comments (137)
167_99 0
ah hahahahaha
swift07 4
that's really funny!! hahahhahahah
notsoluckypup 12
surprisingly...that was the only thing that could make me smile just now ...
GettyLee 0
wow that really sucks...
LanglockTrolls 0
To quash all concerns maybe OP should sleep in the university toilets, where suspicious sounds and smells can be expected :S
ezekiel2517 0
I'm the money you could be saving with geico!
weichongjun 0
I'm so sorry for you.
transalex 4
i just farted while reading this!
wriptidez 0
rofl
ulicksam 0
YDI for deciding to sleep in the library.