Intimacy: Frustrated

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 778

You deserved it 12 075

Intimacy

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 272

You deserved it 829

Boundaries, dude!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 06:01

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 467

You deserved it 227

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 206

You deserved it 294

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 697

You deserved it 68 893

By Anonymous - 07/11/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 825

You deserved it 2 427

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 252

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 771

You deserved it 4 915

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 671

You deserved it 2 350

By unsatisfied - 29/11/2010 12:13 - Australia

Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 616

You deserved it 6 510

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 685

You deserved it 4 693

FunWriter20 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:15

Lol, I hope you helped her out.

MCart_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:38

Seriously, why be the only one not getting off? Sleep is for the weak.

Comments

jm88 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:11

Or beat her with your--

FunWriter20 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:15

Lol, I hope you helped her out.

little92 13

Saturday 10 May 2014 0:29

69 likes to this comment... I think Coincidence

Peter_Ohnigian 14

Wednesday 17 September 2014 21:50

Jim: "Looks like you could use an extra hand!"

MCart_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:38

Seriously, why be the only one not getting off? Sleep is for the weak.

Aethren 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:41

Today, I realized you are gay, FYL

that_one_guy 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:45

I elohel'd at that, Aethren. Seriously though, your chick wanted some of that action, you shoulda jumped at the opportunity.

Spinach 0

Friday 13 February 2009 1:10

When I first read this, I thought it was your mom having sex, and that would have been an issue. But your roommate? Get over it and get on your girlfriend.