Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML
Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
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Top comments
FreakAZoidd 3
What does "blow off" mean in America? Sorry I've never heard that saying.
jerome1995 4
Damn yanks! Taking our jobs!
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Comments (172)
sophyy_fml 0
Since when does blow off mean fart? And I've lived in the uk all my life... :S
bhfboss 0
Didn't laugh at all really
benderbot19 0
To me, in America, that would mean to ignore and kill someone. Either way, you need to learn how to speak, fartacus.
dogpup4 23
I've never heard anyone say blow off and I've lived in England for all of my life...
brianjman14 23
I've never heard anyone say blow off either, and I'm American.
gmstarry 7
My dad always say 'blow off' lol and we live near London
suck_it_jew 0
That's where you learned improper grammar I bet too
funnyfiona 0
Most of my family are londoners we use the word too.
naedangerdavey 0
You sound like the typical American.
docscientist 10
You sound like the typical douche.
suck_it_jew 0
You deserve is for living it the UK.
G6chick 0
U mean blow up?
Rach227 8
sorry but you should always learn the culture before you go to the country, if you'd have said blow up then it would have been understood
hoonyer 17
Yeah, did you know that "fanny" , a word which in the US is the least offensive term for your butt, is actually the most vulgur term for ****** in britain, which is the reason why a "fannypack" is called a "bumbag" there XD
jebron 13
"Fanny" certainly isn't a vulgar term. It is more the sort of phrase a school child would use on a par with "dick" but not the sort of thing that would offend anyone.
geeksaresexy 18
Yeah... the most offensive term for ****** in the UK is probably c**t..