Work and Health: Fartmageddon.

Fartmageddon.

By dusty bean - 18/11/2017 05:00

Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 713

You deserved it 601

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Morning hell

By BillLumberg - 03/02/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 604

You deserved it 24 810

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 980

You deserved it 25 506

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 20:38 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 876

You deserved it 5 181

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 534

You deserved it 4 642

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 15:23

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 819

You deserved it 12 104

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 616

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 632

You deserved it 43 492

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 448

You deserved it 4 980

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 598

You deserved it 8 490

By dealtit - 30/07/2014 03:49 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 161

You deserved it 6 844

sumocj 14

Saturday 18 November 2017 6:06

Man did you hear that asshole talking shit?!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 November 2017 5:10

Look at the boss, point at your co-worker and shout, “He did it!”

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 November 2017 5:10

Look at the boss, point at your co-worker and shout, “He did it!”

sumocj 14

Saturday 18 November 2017 6:06

Man did you hear that asshole talking shit?!

Lobby_Bee 17

Saturday 18 November 2017 12:20

Sharing means caring. You have a heart of gold.

Glowworm56 26

Saturday 18 November 2017 12:53

"Release the Kraken!" is a rather creative way to express letting one rip.

tonyfan00 38

Saturday 18 November 2017 18:15

Well, that stinks.

manb91uk 22

Saturday 18 November 2017 19:17

It’s OK, unless he’s a member of a really disgusting family, he won’t know it was you..

ThrottleJockey 35

Saturday 18 November 2017 20:01

YDI, don't you know that only Liam Neeson has the authority to release the Kraken?

Keywords

Dentist Ironic Health Work Annoying Coworkers Grandparents Awkward Miscellaneous Relatable Food Love Public freakouts Fear Animals Insects Bullying Family Relationship advice Suspicious Embarrassing Neighbours AITA Gamers Anniversary Vegan Allergies Cooking Sex Intimacy

The Top

Today, a man joined our dance group who is at least 10 stone overweight with a belly hanging over his belt. When I tell you he is leaps and bounds a much better dancer than me, I'm underselling how good he is. I fully admit I’m jealous, but he makes all my efforts seem laughable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 386

Today, I was working my job checking people in at the gym. A sweaty, chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied, "We like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said, "So how did you get the job?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 919

You deserved it 15 097

The Top

Today, I was woken up by my wife calling the police because our garden had been ransacked during the night. A whole row of houses has had their plants uprooted, greenhouses broken into and garden tools stolen. The cops haven't found any leads and I feel terrible for my wife, who poured her heart and soul into that garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 85

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 328

You deserved it 3 607

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 139

You deserved it 2 156

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over five hours. Slightly tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink. He smiled and winked back. When I finished work two hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 080

You deserved it 4 159

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 934

You deserved it 3 793

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553 455

You deserved it 47 016