Tough guy

By Anonymous - 01/12/2021 14:01

Today, as a security guard, I caught a kid shoplifting and confronted him. He ran circles around me for almost 5 minutes, then picked me up and dumped me in a builders' skip before escaping. To add to my humiliation, my boss questioned my suitability for the job, and advised me to update my CV. FML
I agree, your life sucks 491
You deserved it 737

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Was "Yakety Sax" by Boots Randolph playing loudly on the store's PA system at the time? What kind of "kid" could lift you up? Are you tiny or was the kid amped up on meth?

I guess you are a pretty crappy security guard

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Was "Yakety Sax" by Boots Randolph playing loudly on the store's PA system at the time? What kind of "kid" could lift you up? Are you tiny or was the kid amped up on meth?

It may or may not have been playing there, but it is definitely in my head now lol

That's a relief -- it's not just me.

I guess you are a pretty crappy security guard

Meanwhile there's some uber-jacked beast of a dude who's been stacking shelves for so long he's memorized the barcodes of everything sold in the store.