Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML
Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
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Top comments
FreakAZoidd 3
What does "blow off" mean in America? Sorry I've never heard that saying.
jerome1995 4
Damn yanks! Taking our jobs!
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Comments (172)
funnyfiona 0
I'm English ( unfortunately I live in Australia now) you should see the stereotypical nonsense they come up with! When I proudly told members of my class of my birthplace (During a class presentation) they've been going on for weeks now taking the Mick out of the London accent. Most of them don't know a bit about England. And act like apes when we have our history lesson about any other country but theirs. Talk about intolerance.
Razza_fml 1
In Australia too, just FYI. I think the terminology would be blow up, as in explode in anger? Sounds like it.
Phase 0
Where I'm from in England that would mean you're about to perform fellatio on someone then kill them.
katt_is_here 24
funnyfiona, I think that is true of every single country on Earth unfortunately. Stereotypes suck. Most people in other countries really don't know diddly dick about America, but they LOOOOVE to assume that we are all fat bastards. When I went to England and they found out I was American, no one I talked to could believe how thin I was. It was really eye-opening.
Llama_Face89 34
Blow off? There's a term I've never encountered before.
Cjmw 7
I'm from Scotland and I've never heard someone say 'blow off' in that term :o
stevenmx86 8
And in my part of America "blow off" means to skip or ignore.. Not sure what OP thinks they're saying but if they were ranting loudly and threatening to kill people at work, they're obviously not the most intelligent person in the world.
Uraziel 5
Nobody even says that in America. YDI for being a retard.
loganberrybat 11
I'm British and I have never once heard that phrase used to mean that.
NirvanaX 1
To be honest I'm British and I've never heard 'blow off' used like that ( although I've never actually heard someone use the phrase 'blow off' before either) where abouts in the UK are you?