Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML
Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
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Top comments
FreakAZoidd 3
What does "blow off" mean in America? Sorry I've never heard that saying.
jerome1995 4
Damn yanks! Taking our jobs!
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Comments (172)
unicornunit 0
well where im from, it means give a ********. that would be an odd combo. on a better note gorillas squirt their feces out their anus before they attack and it makes em look a lot scarier. so fart it up op
yummcookie 0
Depends where you're from. To me that makes sense and doesn't mean fart.
ptd02882 2
He can't be American. To "blow off" something means to disregard it. Possibly he got flustered and meant to say either "blow up" or "go off"?
dhyde1991 4
it actually means to give someone a *******...
kurty1 1
'blow off' does not mean 'fart' you spastic american
letsgetouttahere 3
Up North we'd take that as giving someone a ******* hahaha, well done :')
lollipop77_fml 6
I agree; that's like saying all Americans talk with a drawl, sit on sofas in their front yard, drink beer straight out of the keg and "do it" with family members. Talk about stereo-typing!!
RawrNom 0
I have never heard a fart called a blow off and I've been in loads of uk spots and not just the city I grew up in?
emo_devon 11
Well, OP, im guessing your fart must be vile enough to be lethal...
3vilCandy 2
wish i could kill people with my farts