Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML
Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
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Top comments
FreakAZoidd 3
What does "blow off" mean in America? Sorry I've never heard that saying.
jerome1995 4
Damn yanks! Taking our jobs!
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Comments (172)
katt_is_here 24
I remember my visit to England...I kept on saying pants which means underwear in UK but means trousers in the USA. I feel your pain, OP.
katt_is_here 24
I was just speaking on personal experience. For example, I met one of my sisters friends while in England and made a joke about his pants being 'holy' to break the ice. He freaked and thought his underwear was showing.
xwantedx 5
Blow off does not mean fart in the UK. It really doesnt have any specific meaning. Think they were just trying to take the piss outta you OP! :/
austinriley_9 0
Who the hell says "blow off" ?
samiboy9 0
Where was this wales
moogiex9 6
Some of my young English co-patriots should learn more about their own country. "Blow off" is indeed a British slang term for 'fart'. It probably isn't used much anymore but, ask anyone from your parents generation and they'll probably know it. It was a very common back in the 70's and 80's, usually because the word 'fart' was considered too crude. It shouldn't be confused with "to blow" (felatio) or 'blow up' (erupt with rage).
NirvanaX 1
Goodness you remind me of mr. Culling from Pride and Prejudice :)
panderluver 0
Wonder what would have happened if you said '********'...
lollipop77_fml 6
I'm from England and I remember kids in the playground would chant "show off, show off, pick your nose and blow off" to kids showing off. It meant fart back then....
SorrowFull 8
It isn't "blow off" it is actually "blow up". When you "blow off", it means that you ignore something. When you are angry you "blow up".
zombiekitten87 12
Pretty sure the phrase would be blow "up" anyway, not "off." "Blow up" as in something exploding... Get it? Ydi.
fuckkyeaaaalaura 12
well.... you learn something new everyday