Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML
Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
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Top comments
FreakAZoidd 3
What does "blow off" mean in America? Sorry I've never heard that saying.
jerome1995 4
Damn yanks! Taking our jobs!
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Comments (172)
starfish1898 0
Well you shouldn't have been so unprofessional in the first place
googlefrewdnoob 0
Really, I didn't know that.... Strange not knowing my own countries slang
frankwolf86 0
still makes sense to me
ZeroIce 12
you are farting THEN killing, or killing THEN farting? :D
ifailsobadly 18
Ummm, I'm pretty sure 'Blow off' doesn't mean fart. Unless you're an 8 year old. Trump, fart, pump, let rip or any others maybe. Blow off. No. And I saw it just too, the comment about 'fannypacks' in america being called 'bumbags' over here. No. Just no.
tj4234 36
Fair enough I'm Scottish rather than British, but I'd say 'blowing off' is more sex slang than flatulence.
Raesin 21
Scottish, English, Welsh, Manx, Cornish, Northern Irish = British So yes, you are British.
tj4234 36
British Isles = Scotland, England, Wales and part of Ireland. People who consider themselves British = England. For the record though, the Manx part (which is Isle of Man) is not part of Britain. Hence why there aren't many speed limits on the Isle of Man.
tj4234 36
EDIT: Double posted by mistake.
spadekqj10 0
Where the hell are you from where " blow off and kill someone" is a normal saying?
nuttyclorox 2
blow off? we hardly ever use that term anymore, it's a very childish term that was everyday slang maybe ten years ago...
KOOLBRITKID 0
I'm English, and no, it means Blow Someone aka ********
MangaManiacNat 13
Agreed certainly around where I live it means to give someone a ********, like jack off. Makes me wonder who this guy hangs around with. Or better yet which part of England they are working in o_O
memedlam 0
wtf typical stupid american just dont help yourselfs do you and it doesnt mean that at all fcking retard
jonmason101 1
Maybe you should learn to spell and use proper punctuation before you comment on someone else's intelligence.
docscientist 10
93, you have no clue what you're talking about. Please recede back into your own little crazy world and let the non-idiots handle things.