By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 942
You deserved it 11 804

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Better fart then hold it in and get the worst stomach ache of your life. You all know what I mean.

Better to just let it out. We all know that when you hold a fart in it travels up to your brain and that's where shitty ideas come from


Better fart then hold it in and get the worst stomach ache of your life. You all know what I mean.

Roskosity 22

A wise ogre once said, "Better out than in."

Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

Sometimes gas pain can be so painful. Any ER doctor can tell you that many people come in thinking they're having chest pains or a heart attack and it's actually just gas. I think life would be much better if people (mainly guys) didn't think that gas was so funny and weren't so determined to point out anytime someone lets it out. I bet if that room was full of females no one would've said a word no matter how horrible it smelt. Lol.

Yeah but trying to let it out slowly can be painful too. Why didn't OP just go to the loo and let it out there? Would've been easier for them and better manners for their colleagues.

#50, you're making the assumption that everyone or most of the people that work there are guys. This is not necessarily the case.

Better to lose your friends than your intestines.

*Than, with then this post becomes hilarious ^^

How could they trace it back to you?

Imo that's kinda weird they traced it back.

pwnman 33

Following the smell which leads to OP's butt.

There's an app for that now

First you determine the prevailing draft direction in the office and then you look for the person that has the dumbest grin or giggles in that direction. Everybody grins or giggles when they fart somewhere they're not supposed to. If you have stomach pains the risk of having a horrific accident is waaayyyyy too big. I always go to the restroom to toot when I have tummy pain... much safer!

AnOriginalName 19

It was probably so vile that it left a visible wake in the air. Kinda like when Spongebob was ugly and proud.

I agree with 7, what's weirder, a guy that has bad gas pain and accidentally let's out a smelly toot, or the guy that continued to sniff this foul smell until he found the butthole that created it?!

incoherentrmblr 21

Maybe they have that sniffing device from Richie Rich...

The vapor trail

Because whoever smelt it dealt it!

Better to just let it out. We all know that when you hold a fart in it travels up to your brain and that's where shitty ideas come from

BBlah 26

That's probably one of the best theories I've ever heard

And that's where the shitty idea of pointing the fans at OP came from.

lol you guys must be really bored at work for your co workers to launch a forensic investigation on who farted.

sucks, but it happens to everybody. my opinion? blame it on somebody else. buy your own mini-desk fan and point it at whatever co-worker you detest most.

LostInTheZone11 29

Level the playing field by bringing in Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears, and leave them in the break room with a "Help Yourself" sign.

Lol!!!! Perfect!

katydid91 31

They cause gas? Hmm, thanks for the warning!

LostInTheZone11 29

Look at the reviews on Amazon.

AnOriginalName 19

20, sugar alcohols (which sometimes replace the sugar in sugar-free sweets) cause gastric distress when ingested in any but the smallest of quantities.

NiceGuysDoWin 21

Yup. The Russell Stophers sugar free chocolates are like that too. They taste amazingly like real chocolate, but if you eat more than 4 of them, you'll be running to the bathroom for the rest of the day. Best laxative ever.

There have been a several instances where someone had a few of these gummy bears and was basically glued to the toilet for hours with a torrential outpouring of diarrhea. Painful, smelly, explosive diarrhea.

ow, my mind eyes... :(

I want to make poop jokes but I keep getting downvoted :(

pwnman 33

It brings people in shitty situations!

Your sentence structure sucks ass.

now that I know you care about sentence structure I want to hear the poop joke you had on deck.

You shouldn't have claimed it.

He who denied it supplied it.

cryssycakesx3 22

whoever smelt it dealt it.

cjwayy 22

He didn't claim it, his coworkers traced it back to him. I don't know how, but they did.

katydid91 31

I'm feel so bad for you OP. I've my share of bad gas due to my often spastic digestive system. Just remember, it's not like any of them have never farted in their life, unless of course they're Peter Griffin!

martin8337 35

Weapon of mass destruction.

katydid91 31

*Ass destruction!