Miscellaneous: Flattered

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 193

You deserved it 3 708

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Same thing different taste

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 859

You deserved it 6 555

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 777

You deserved it 4 157

By just_a_bit_akwRd - 04/08/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 678

You deserved it 7 813

Sage advice

By jcc - 24/02/2009 08:31 - Russian Federation

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 596

You deserved it 5 558

By Rose - 15/06/2012 05:54 - United States - Tenino

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 570

You deserved it 2 660

Booted

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 07:32 - Australia

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 333

You deserved it 3 364

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 17:38 - United States - Monroe

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 154

You deserved it 3 839

By Lucas79 - 08/10/2011 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 239

You deserved it 3 435

Freakout!

By beer guy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 527

You deserved it 2 567

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 33 305

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Monday 28 January 2013 16:12

Awwh c'mon, that's funny as hell.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 28 January 2013 16:47

All the more reason why she's a strange man.

Comments

AriSwagg 9

Monday 28 January 2013 21:50

That is hilarious XD

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 28 January 2013 22:16

So tell us, OP, does that mean the girlfriend found it hilarious? If not, the person she should be mad at is the old lady for saying what she did, not you for having a cute butt.

olhuma 5

Monday 28 January 2013 22:45

Yet another argument against low cut jeans...

missmadhatter93 7

Tuesday 29 January 2013 0:20

My boyfriend whos 18 got hit on my a very large woman who was at least 50, i find it hilarous

myeviltwin 20

Tuesday 29 January 2013 2:05

Hey you gave a few moments of joy to an old lady who probably does not have much happiness or time left in her life. Give her a break and be flattered. And please don't thumb me down if someone else said this first. I don't have the time or patience to read all of the comments tonight. Remember we will all be old and undesirable someday (if we live that long).