Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML
Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML
Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
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Top comments
matt1234321 0
tht was smoooth
Kel_x 0
It cost you $70 to prove to your girlfriend's parents that you're a wanker. FYL.
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Comments (120)
matt1234321 0
tht was smoooth
crazycornn 0
damn straight!
allen20 0
Hahahha idiot! or maybe it was ur girlfriends period. You never know ;)
xxjona777xx 0
well at least they will never forget you lol everytime they that stain u will come into mind
Dandamanoo 0
dick
juniorsgay 0
IDIOT
bcns 0
u have no idea what the hell ur talkin about, shut up
WordsOfHope 0
8 Ftw
killabee 0
#8 Really?.....
DavidCooksAngel 0
that sucks!
supastarr 0
I guess u won't be eating dinner there anymore
nmsm 1
Yeah #8, that wasn't funny.....
counterfit 10
I like eating red carpet! *thud* giggity
UberFail79 0
Of course, they totally bottle and sell that now. Completely reasonable. Then again, there IS eBay...
Epicfailz01 0
you deserve it for wasting money on wine
fmlsoobad 0
mow it's, Oxy-Clean versus Sham-Wow, who is going to win this time
M4V3R1CKR13 0
looks like a job for shamWOW
fireobsessed 0
#8 did make me lol a little.....
apfunction 0
you opened red wine near a white carpet? are you retarded?
samantha_durano 6
awesome.
ImaginaryFoe 1
#95 win. Shouldn't the host have been the one to open the bottle?
b182link 0
49 wtf is wrong with your tounge
LinuxTux37 0
Hey, accidents happen.
IDKWhatHappened 0
How old are you? 5?
urikuh17 0
atleast he can spell better than most on here. lol
gabirolon 1
ewwww that's just wrong!!!
demon1k 0
especially when you're "trying to be smooth" and end up looking like a dumbass. YDI
1zinzanzin 0
greasy hair!!!!!!
PurpleSquirrel 0
Lmfao.
TattedDownJah 2
ha, ha dat was some really smart shit
Blue_Coconuts 7
Dude, do you really need to type like that? You sound like all those retarded ass Saints fans saying "Who dat day gonna beat dem Saints?".... Making NFL Sunday annoying to watch. Shit, I can tolerate "u" and "ur" but "dat" makes people sound ******* retarded...
kniickles 0
Whoa, someone's a Nazi.
ihateonyou 0
Who Dat!
tjigga 0
75 classic
Zills 0
why cause 3 is black? And that shit is ******* annoying.
winterharte 0
Good try at least :/
bridgette5866 0
OXI-CLEAN!
raithex 0
Haha. Fasho'. Break out the Oxi-Clean.
brianred5 0
smooth
iSwag 0
That was your first impression? dam that sucks...FYL
Diannaa 0
I like ur lips :)
DavidCooksAngel 0
ISwag has sexy lips.
BlueTwist89 0
Omg I hope they don't hate you forever.
Mikeymikey 4
I'd say the dad loves u for ruining his wife's carpet and seeing her getting mad... you got yourself a friend dude!!
grayscale_red 0
Loser. Don't try to fake it. It just makes you look like an idiot.
Kel_x 0
It cost you $70 to prove to your girlfriend's parents that you're a wanker. FYL.