Love, Embarrassing and Parents: First impressions

First impressions

By medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 963

You deserved it 8 207

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Same thing different taste

Keep quiet

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 23:12 - United States - Hollywood

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 752

You deserved it 3 475

Nice of you

By Anonymous - 30/07/2010 04:26 - United States

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 073

You deserved it 38 933

The mouthfeel

By rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 936

You deserved it 10 124

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 140

You deserved it 2 100

Pissed

By Sally - 24/08/2018 22:00

Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 616

You deserved it 836

By isuckasawaitress - 12/12/2011 17:08 - Singapore

Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 877

You deserved it 5 200

Spillage

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 06:00

Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 144

By Brian - 04/05/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 542

You deserved it 64 557

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 05:07 - United States - Topeka

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 562

You deserved it 56 752

By Chaznuts - 08/09/2009 06:22 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 534

You deserved it 5 202

matt1234321 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 16:02

tht was smoooth

Kel_x 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 16:18

It cost you $70 to prove to your girlfriend's parents that you're a wanker. FYL.

Comments

lives_ppl 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 20:29

dude, you so deserve it. you don't pop the cork of red wine

puntificator 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 20:45

FYGPL for having impractical taste in carpeting.

Zamax 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 21:06

Don't worry, new and improved OxyClean can take care of it! ;)

hawkie409 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 21:06

FYL. Buy them a white rug, or offer to get them new carpet, if you can??

iRobynM 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 21:22

it's their fault. everyone knows that when you get white carpet you are bound to get a stain

judetheobvious 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 21:35

YDI for trying to impress people with cheap wine

clux44 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 21:59

wouldn't they be the ones to open the bottle given that it was, 1. a gift and 2. in their house? I call fake.

kBzee 3

Tuesday 23 February 2010 22:31

Thats what you get for tryin to show off, just be yourself.

cdilink 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 0:22

Haha BOYFRIEND WIN!!!

couny343 1

Wednesday 24 February 2010 0:23

thought you only popped champagne not wine? so YDI

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The Top

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 91

Today, my fiancée's ex sent me screenshots of their conversation. In it, he told her how badly he’d wanted to marry her, what a great life he'd have given her, and what a huge mistake she'd made by letting him get away. My ring, our house even our pets should’ve been hers. Gee, thanks for settling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 167

You deserved it 134

The Top

You can run, but you can't hide...

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 69

Today, my husband put myself and our 3 year-old on a plane back to the other side of the US, because he “just can’t” with us anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 181

Today, my boyfriend said, "You know who you remind me of? Sarah Palin." And then for the next 15 minutes continued to discuss how ugly she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 303

You deserved it 3 691

Today, a guy took me to meet his parents on a second date. I stopped answering his calls afterwards, but he's just left me a voice-mail informing me that he's in love with me. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 228

You deserved it 8 941

Today, I called a jerk of a client who has anger issues. As he started yelling and losing his temper, I began recording the call. The phone exclaimed : "This call is now being recorded." He hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 165

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 484

You deserved it 6 432